I still believe…do you?

 

To change the subject a little bit, I would like to tell you
what God’s been teaching me in the last week or so and also how you can be
praying for me…

A few days ago, we were having a worship session at our
bi-monthly debrief with all of my World Race squad.  As we were worshipping one of the girls got up on stage and
talked about how she felt God wanted us to pray over another of the girls for
some healing that needed to happen in her heart and healing of some issues that
she was dealing with.  We gathered
around her and began to pray.  Our
squad prayed over her with passion and with the authority of Christ.  After we finished she said that she
felt she was healed and that issue was done being dealt with.

Almost immediately I felt myself begin to doubt.  I thought to myself, “She probably only
feels “healed” because 60 people just prayed for her.  Who wouldn’t feel better after that?!”  I went outside and cried because I was
so overwhelmed with doubt.  After a
few minutes I went back in to get my Bible and began reading about all the
times that Jesus healed.  Every
time that I read about would have been extremely obvious to the eye.  A blind man who could suddenly see, a
lame man who could walk, or a little girl who was dead and then came back to
life would have been so simple to believe!  It was not as simple to believe a healing that happened on
the inside.  I was completely
broken that night.  (Which I think
God always uses to bring us close to him.)  After worship ended I went and wrote scripture in my journal
for almost 2 hours trying to cover myself in truth and knowing that EVERYTHING
that comes from God’s Word is true!

The next day as I was still thinking through all of this,
God revealed to me that it didn’t really matter if she had truly been
healed.  That was between her and
God.  All that really mattered was
that I believed and understood that He CAN heal the inside and outside of
people.  This made it so much
easier because I had never doubted that He COULD heal her…only that He had.

Later that day my teammate, Eryn, told us during a team
meeting to remember as we were talking to people about Christ to remember how
powerful our testimonies are.  She
said, “Your testimony, your experience with God, is the only thing that nobody
can argue with.”  It hit me in that
moment that I couldn’t argue with my own testimony!  I KNEW that God had healed me from the inside out of pains
and issues that nobody else could physically see, but I knew that it was true.

Maybe I could not see my squad mate physically healed with
my own eyes…but how does that give me the right to doubt her experience or to
doubt God.  It doesn’t!

I am choosing to still believe that God does heal on the
inside because I’ve experience it first hand.  I’m also choosing to believe that He has the power to “heal
the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those with diseases and drive our demons”
(Matthew 10:8) even though I’ve never seen some of those things happen before
my eyes.  I still believe…do you?