This is a blog that I wrote almost a year ago (January 3, 2009)! It is crazy that God had already begun working on my heart for The World Race then, and how He has brought me this far even though I fought Him on it for so long!
What really is all that I can give? I want to convey what exactly it
is that I have been feeling and thinking lately…but many times it’s
so hard to put your feelings and the things that you are learning in to
words that can be grasped by other humans. Obviously, God understands
our babbling, but many times those reading our ramblings do not
necessarily get it. Then again, does it really matter? We write, we
sing, we sleep, we speak, we do everything that we do because of the
one and only most powerful deity in the this sinful world…our Master
and Creator.
is that I have been feeling and thinking lately…but many times it’s
so hard to put your feelings and the things that you are learning in to
words that can be grasped by other humans. Obviously, God understands
our babbling, but many times those reading our ramblings do not
necessarily get it. Then again, does it really matter? We write, we
sing, we sleep, we speak, we do everything that we do because of the
one and only most powerful deity in the this sinful world…our Master
and Creator.
God set this world in motion and has
not taken His hand off of it; however, sometimes it is hard not to feel
distant from Him. That makes Him no less God, just us a little more
human…? I KNOW that God has called me to a specific purpose in His
ministry. For many years I didn’t know what that meant, but in recent
years I have discovered a LOVE and PASSION to reach out to those from
around the world. Although I have this great love for these people of
every nation, tribe, and tongue…I still struggle with committing my
time to the one that has put this passion inside of me. I know there
is something wrong with this picture, and I DESIRE to change, forever,
completely. I want nothing left of myself, although as I write this I
wonder how true it could be since I have seen my constant failure of
proving this nothing more than a momentary commitment.
not taken His hand off of it; however, sometimes it is hard not to feel
distant from Him. That makes Him no less God, just us a little more
human…? I KNOW that God has called me to a specific purpose in His
ministry. For many years I didn’t know what that meant, but in recent
years I have discovered a LOVE and PASSION to reach out to those from
around the world. Although I have this great love for these people of
every nation, tribe, and tongue…I still struggle with committing my
time to the one that has put this passion inside of me. I know there
is something wrong with this picture, and I DESIRE to change, forever,
completely. I want nothing left of myself, although as I write this I
wonder how true it could be since I have seen my constant failure of
proving this nothing more than a momentary commitment.
I’m
tired of living the same life that I have always lived, with the same
fears that I have always harbored…I want a RENEWED passion for the
one and only God in which I serve. I know there must be more to give
of myself than I have already given. This life is not mine to live.
tired of living the same life that I have always lived, with the same
fears that I have always harbored…I want a RENEWED passion for the
one and only God in which I serve. I know there must be more to give
of myself than I have already given. This life is not mine to live.
As
I near closer and closer to my May 2009 graduation date, it seems
inevitable that I will have to choose some path to take after this
time. Although it is a bit scary, I know that it is time. I have
considered so many different options, but the one I am really
struggling with right now is the World Race. This is a program through
AIM that sends you to 11 countries in 11 months in a very intense,
life-changing journey. It has over and over caught my attention and I
finally realized that I should really check into it. Over this next
week I will be filling the application out, and as I do I would like to
ask for your prayer. I am going to fill out the application, and step
through this door as long as it is open. It seems so THRILLING to go
to so many countries and show people the love of Christ through
physical, mental, and spiritual works. However, I want whatever I do
to be specifically orchestrated by God’s hand.
I near closer and closer to my May 2009 graduation date, it seems
inevitable that I will have to choose some path to take after this
time. Although it is a bit scary, I know that it is time. I have
considered so many different options, but the one I am really
struggling with right now is the World Race. This is a program through
AIM that sends you to 11 countries in 11 months in a very intense,
life-changing journey. It has over and over caught my attention and I
finally realized that I should really check into it. Over this next
week I will be filling the application out, and as I do I would like to
ask for your prayer. I am going to fill out the application, and step
through this door as long as it is open. It seems so THRILLING to go
to so many countries and show people the love of Christ through
physical, mental, and spiritual works. However, I want whatever I do
to be specifically orchestrated by God’s hand.
Here
it is…I feel inadequate, unworthy, and lacking in every way possible.
I am simply trusting in the fact that God uses broken and worthless
people to accomplish His goal. God used Saul turned Paul to be
possibly the greatest missionary to ever walk this earth. I know He
will use me if I am simply willing to be used…
it is…I feel inadequate, unworthy, and lacking in every way possible.
I am simply trusting in the fact that God uses broken and worthless
people to accomplish His goal. God used Saul turned Paul to be
possibly the greatest missionary to ever walk this earth. I know He
will use me if I am simply willing to be used…
