I wish I could give you a single word to sum up my time in Cambodia. One word to wrap up all my feelings and experience like a neat little gift. But I can’t. Not even a sentence would do it justice. A whole list of words come to my mind when thinking back on this past month.
Love
Joy
Laughter
Beauty
Worth
Knowledge
Heartbreak
Redemption
So much has happened here. My heart and my perspective are forever changed. My team and I had the opportunity this month to teach and do life with 25 beautiful, smart young ladies. The home they live in is a home for girls 6-18 who have been abused, raped, or trafficked. Their ages range from about 10-18. Their stories all vary, but they all have a common factor. Hurt. These beautiful daughters of the King were not treated as such. This month we were able to help the staff love on these girls. To be a small example of the love our Father has for us. We communicated through laughter, charades, and facial expressions. Our days were filled with crafts, English lessons, games, and dances.
Most of all we wanted the girls to know they were smart, good, and valuable. We taught them how to say words like camel and thank you. They taught us how to fold paper into frogs and stars. We had moments of just sitting next to each other coloring or creating crafts. My favorite times were watching their faces light up when they remembered the English name for something or when their paper airplane went the farthest. This last weekend we were able to go to a conference the girls were attending. We were able to worship with them and watch them cry out to God. The band would sing songs in Khmer, but have the English words underneath the Khmer so that we could worship in unison. During breaks we were able to run around, play games, and dance with the girls. Saying goodbye to our girls was hard. Ugly cry hard. I knew it would be. Our last morning with them kind of sealed the deal for how hard it would be. That morning my team and I got to church a little late so we were unable to sit with our girls, but we sat a few rows over. Someone at the front of the church called for us to greet our neighbors. I ran over to say good morning to the girls with some of my teammates. One of the girls grabbed my hand and said “Teacha for you” then placed this note in my hand.
All of the things we wanted the girls to learn this month she gave back to me in one simple note. The band started playing a song and the courses translated to “joy for mourning, beauty for ashes, redeeming what has been stolen”. I could not stop thinking about how much I wanted this for the girls. They have already seen and been through so many bad things. They carry so much weight from their past. My teammates and I started praying over the girls. My prayers were for these girls to receive what our Lord has for them. I prayed they would know their worth comes from God alone, not from their past. I realized in that moment God is wanting the same thing for all of us. He wants us to let go of what we are holding on to that is keeping us from him. Isaiah 61:3 says he brings beauty from ashes, joy instead of mourning, and festive praise instead of despair. I want so bad for the girls we worked with to understand God redeems and he wants it so much more. God broke my heart for these girls so I could understand how he looks at me.
I did not want to say goodbye to Cambodia and the relationships I built with the girls. I wanted to stay with them so I could make sure they were never mistreated again. I do not want them to ever feel alone. I said goodbye though, knowing that God has greater plans for them than I could ever understand. I left knowing as much as I care for the girls God cares an unfathomable amount more. I left with my eyes opened to how much God wants for his sons and daughters to turn to him. He wants us to hear him when he says, “You are smart, valuable, and good.” To cry our eyes out and mourn with him so that he can turn that mourning into joy.
