God spoke to me in 46 different voices. The Lord can show up in some crazy ways and he really took me by surprise on one of the last few nights of LDW coming into Thailand. Sadly this blog has been a long time coming with me wanting to write it. I just haven’t had the time to knock it out. However God really forced me into this situation. I can honestly say I wasn’t feeling worship, I was over LDW and ready to just get to ministry in Thailand. I wasn’t living in the present at the time because I really wanted to fast forward. However God stopped time for the night for me to really sit in his presence.
So our squad decided to do listening prayer over certain squad members. I had the gut wrenching feeling that I was about to be called. 5 or so people down I felt a bit safe and then it happened. Our squad leaders said Lydia.
And my heart dropped. Holy Crap what is the Lord going to tell 46 people to tell me.
All the emotions in my being were felt.
However so much good came out of this experience and of course the Lord knew I needed this and that it would be so much knowledge and growth for me to take forward.
So below are the raw, unedited versions of what God spoke through my squad mates:
Lydia the Lord just highlighted this passage of scripture to me, after Peter betrays Jesus, Jesus comes back and reappears to Peter the same stop that Peter betrayed Jesus, the same fire was going, and he set the same scene where Peter betrayed Jesus. Jesus instead of condemning Peter for his lack of faith and for his betray he presents him with the opportunity to reinstate his faith. He asks him three times and gives him the opportunity to confess his love to Jesus. I just think that it is really cool that Jesus is speaking redemption into your life. That he is taking you back to these places of times when you felt you have disappointed the Lord, or that you feel you have fallen short and failed. He is going to allow you to speak truths over those and allow you to reclaim those memories and your mind will be renewed with faithfulness instead of disappointment or failure.
Lydia I just keep getting this word of, “you have freedom now” that not after the race, not in a couple of month, but you have that freedom now. Like right now, today, this second. That yes the Lord is going to grow you and refrain you but you are able to walk in His freedom already. I just feel that you can have peace in that. You don’t have to keep working. You are just free
So the Lord is speaking to me in fairytales right now. And just this image of peter pan with the shadow. You bring so much of a light and of a joyful spirit and you just radiate his presence so dearly, and you just love people so well. You see the people that are not seen by most. You are just so inclusive and your heart is abounding in love for people And I just see you looking back and seeing this shadow that you think is still attached to you, you are trying to cut it off with scissors but it’s just not there. The Lord has already declared this freedom in you, to walk forward in boldness, and to not think the shadow is still following you. Just trust that you can put down the scissors and just trust that you can walk forward in this boldness and that it’s not following you.
Lydia I am getting the story of the potter and the clay. It says that the word that came to Jeremiah from the Lord, Arise and go down to the potter’s house and there I will let you hear my words. So I went down to the potter’s house and there he was working at his wheel, and the vessel that he was making with clay was spoiled in the potter’s hand. But he reworded it into a new vessel as seemed good for the father to do. Maybe the Lord is saying people have told you that in one way or another that you are that spoiled pot that you were that vessel that wasn’t what it was supposed to be. The Lord is saying that, that is an absolute lie, that it is completely false in every single way. That it seems good to him to rework you into more of his likeness and that doesn’t mean that those cracks or those parts of us that we see as flawed bad. He doesn’t say that this is isn’t good enough, throw it away. He says I know this can be, and I will shape it and I’m going to mold it.
I just keep seeing the picture of a yellow balloon. To me all balloons are nice and joyful. This is just one single yellow balloon that’s filled with helium that you’re just holding onto. I just feel that the Lord just wants you to walk with that joy
I just keep getting the picture of a flower
Lydia I see an image, it’s like you are standing on a giant rock that shoots out over the ocean. You are standing on the very end just staring out into the night. Slowly one by one these people are coming up to you and are asking what are you looking at there is nothing out there. And every time you look at them you say but it is so beautiful don’t you see the stars, don’t you see the sky. And where everyone else sees nothing but darkness, nothing for miles you see beauty. And they walk away completely changed a whole new perspective on what night is and instead of seeing darkness when they look into the night they see the light that’s up in the sky
Lydia the Lord is going to awaken some dreams and visions in you. Either their dreams and visions that you have now that His is revive in your spirit, maybe a dream that you had as a kid that you might have forgotten about or maybe things that you were not even aware of. I believe that God gives us a desire in our hearts and a desire to desire His desires. I also believe that He created us all equally and that there are desire deep within us without us even knowing and that He just needs to wake them up. Then we realize Gosh, I had a desire to do this, or this passion to do this, or this calling to do this. I just feel like the Lord is going to do this for you. I don’t have really any sort of timeline for that, but don’t worry about it. It’s not just life goals but it’s just dreams and visions and what you want to see in the world too. I just feel that there is this grieving with God that is just really beautiful and really intimate that He is going to share.
I was really drawn to Song of Solomon and how Solomon is saying behold our people, every single part.
Lydia I just keep seeing a horizon in the morning, you might not see the sun yet, but you can see the way that the light is coming, and changing your vision. You begin to see the things around you, you begin to become hopeful for the day that’s ahead. I just see you as that light and that sun and the people around you know that even though nighttime is coming even though that there is a darkness that comes that there is still that hope. That there is that hope that the light is coming again. People just find that hope and find that joy in you.
Lydia your value is not contingent on anything. The Lord wants you to walk in that freedom so that you can lead others boldly to walk in that same spirit.
You past does not define you and it does not have a hold on you. You are a new creation and you are going to use your past for His glory.
Lydia I keep getting just you standing in the middle of a hurricane. I feel that you have just went through a lot and you are in the eye of the hurricane and its calm and it’s still and you are learning to trust again. And it’s just that the hurricane isn’t over that there is still going to be storms that come but you have this new sense of strength and this renewed relationship with the Lord where He is going to calm the storm within you but not around you. That he is going to walk you through the rest of the storm as it passes, but it will pass.
I watched a video of how glass is formed/made and they were making a flower and there was just so much detail and so much work that went into it. So they would form it, put it in the fire, and then form it again and continue to work on it. It was this beautiful piece of art that they kept working on it and using it and continued to just make it more beautiful and I feel that this is how the Lord sees you. That you are such a prize but the Lord is continued to work in your heart and in your life and you are just something so worthy that he wants to pursue and wants to work in.
I remember at training camp, your pack got taken so you hadn’t changed your clothes in like three days and you were laughing hysterically about it. I just remember thinking how is this girl laughing, like this is not even funny, I would have wanted to go home if that happened to me. I also remember sitting in the airport going to Costa Rica and we were just cracking jokes about what the flight attendants were saying and it was just so dumb, I’m not even going to repeat it because it wasn’t even that funny, but it was so funny to me. I also remember in Guatemala you had a 102 degree fever and you are still out there cracking jokes, if I had a 102 fever I would be on a flight home. I can’t fathom your joy. An image that popped in my head was a little girl skipping down this pier and it was raining and it was dark and it was cloudy and everyone was life what is that girl doing like look at the circumstances why is she out there skipping just so happy, she doesn’t even know where she is going. But that the joy that you have you are so blindly following Christ and people notice that and see it and they are going to question how can she be so joyful during that time or what is it about he that is different and that is what is going to draw people to Christ because they are going to see that in you. Because that is what it is its Christ. I love you.
I want to add on to what someone else was saying that the Lord is promising that he is making you beautiful but in the act of him making you beautiful he has already promised you that you will be beautiful and in that He promised that you are beautiful. So even if you don’t feel that you are not the complete package that you want to be or that you’re not the final product it doesn’t matter, because that is a promise. When we go to heaven we are made perfect but we are perfect now because we hold on to Jesus. You can hold on to that joy and that truth because with that promise, you may not be prefect now, you may be more perfect later in your life you can still hold on to the promise that the Lord is calling you beautiful at every moment of your life.. So do not wait to see the results to believe that because all of us here will believe the truth if you believe the truth. So don’t feel like you need the Lord to show you some more things to believe in, but just believe that the Lord is saying to you that you are beautiful and that you are holy made and that the Lord is working on you and that he is faithful to you believe that is true because we will believe it if you believe this truth.
I have heard you in complete frustration say something, and you are obviously frustrated about something and I turn around and I’m like dang Lydia is frustrated right now. And I look and you look at me and you just start laughing, like giggling and I’m like hum are you frustrated or not? But it is so true, you have the joy that catches on to others and I see that in you, and I love that, that it’s infectious.
A prayer over me:
Father God, thank you so much for the joy that you have given Lydia. Oh gosh, maybe she already does this and already knows this about herself but I see her standing in the midst of Satan trying to get at her in anything and she is just sitting there just laughing. This is because she knows that you have already won. There is no way that Satan can take what you have given her, there is no way Satan can rob the joy you have given he. That every time Satan tries to take that from her she laughs because she knows you can’t. That’s not yours to have. And God that is so awesome. That is something so much that I desire to have. So God I thank you that this squad is able to have that. Father God I just take all of these prayers all of these words of affirmation all of these images you have given to Lydia and I just pray that they will bless her soul powerfully Lord God. God remind Lydia that the same God that speaks through some of the most powerful evangelists, the same God that speaks through some of the most effective theologians, and some of the most amazing missionaries, and through some of the most adorable children and through everybody that you heard about that you think, “Man God is changing the world through them.” You’re the same God that’s in Lydia. You haven’t changed at all, the same God we hear about in every single bible story, and we read stories and thank Man that’s a really cool God we serve, like you are the same God, and you are in Lydia. I just pray that you continue to speak through Lydia, and encourage Lydia that you would step into speaking into other’s lives, just like God is speaking into you, you may already be doing this but I see God ready to speak through you. I just thank you God for this sister in Christ. It’s in your name we pray Amen.
