In less than a month I am leaving for a once in a lifetime adventure. This is really my life and it dawns on me randomly and suddenly! God has spoken and made a way for this to happen. I’m going!
It’s hard to explain my emotions as I prepare to leave everything familiar and comfortable in exchange for a year of the unexpected. I have this sense of peace that I know is from the Holy Spirit. I don’t know what I’d do without this foundation.
Even with this peace, I’ve found that every day is different. Some days I wake up and with the mindset, “I love Netflix and my bed is realllllly great.” Other days I wake up with some pep in my step and beyond excited, ready to carpe diem it up!
Recently I have been asked the question “So are you ready?!” I don’t really know what that means. I also don’t think I ever really could be ready for something like this. I often let the fear of not feeling ready overwhelm me and I shut down.
God is teaching me what learning to trust in Him really means. It is difficult because I don’t like relinquishing control. When my hands are on something then I can trust that the outcome will be favorable and if it’s not then I’M the one to blame. It’s safe. It’s often measurable. It’s generally predictable.
God is showing me the possibilities of what can happen when I put my trust in His hands. I’m learning how He makes beautiful things out of willing hearts that say yes to Him. It’s no longer entirely dependent on me to make it happen. That’s a huge burden to carry. The feeling that you constantly have to have your stuff together. The realization that there’s only so much you are humanly capable of doing.
So that’s kind of where I’m at. If that makes any sense?
Learning to submit control, learning to trust, and learning to deal with what’s right now instead of trying to plan ahead for things way out of my control. I have to trust that God knows the things I need vs. what I think I need and what I want. It’s hard. I’m not very good at it yet. I hold on to this one simple truth; God has never failed and He won’t start now.
I’m 55% of the way funded for the trip! I officially made the deadline to leave the country. It’s unbelievable ! There’s still two deadlines ahead of me before The World Race is paid for. It will be more difficult to raise support while I’m overseas . I think this is a huge part of my stress factor whereas I’m not sure how the donations will come in after I’m gone. There’s the fear that if the money doesn’t come in then I will have to leave the race early. But once again God is in control! I am learning to trust that His plan is perfect. The truth is in all those wonderfully cliche and christianese phrases that we hear all the time or printed on cards. There’s so much truth in the simple. His word is truth and power.
