I came to training camp expecting a few things, like trying out my new gear, getting to know my squadmates, learning about WR logistics, etc. These things did happen, so that was cool.
I did not expect to deal with the junk in my life that keeps me from loving easily and living freely. Having a background in psychology, I pride myself on recognizing my junk and trying to deal with it. Now that I think about it, I really shouldn’t take pride in this. Not because pride is dangerous, but because after trying to deal with it myself for so long, my fears and stumbling blocks were still very much present.
I came to camp with what I thought was an open heart. A more accurate description would be to imagine myself banging on the walls from the inside, trying to knock them down, and eventually tiring out. What I had been doing before was not working. What I had been doing before was not working.
So there I was, ready to embrace new things with my “open heart”, and I was talking down to myself for not feeling what I thought I should be feeling. “That’s great if they can raise their hands. I’m so glad they can do that! What’s wrong with me?” This is literally what I was saying to myself. I was missing the point.
After some preaching*, the time came and all I had to do was stand where I was. I was surrounded by people who prayed out loud for things that were so specific to my needs, yet they were things that I had not told anyone about. Lots of tissues were needed.
This is pretty much how the first four days went for me. More worship, more people praying more specific prayers of restoration and confidence and freedom. I was carrying a pack of tissues in my pocket by now. I’m not saying that I can freely raise my hands yet, but life-changing work was done in my heart.
I came to training camp with my own expectations. They were met and they were surpassed. And I’m so glad. Racers were given the chance to have God wreck, rock, and restore our souls so that when we leave, we are maybe, at least a little less hindered by our junk.
There are other things I can add, like how much I liked my tent (Marmot Limelight 2) or how I might bring a fluffy pillow on the Race instead of an inflating one. While these things might help you, I chose to share the what affected me the most at training.
*I have not given much credit to the preaching at this time. It was very intentional, real, humble, and humorous. It caused my heart to be wrecked and it was exactly what I needed. It would take another blog or two to give you the details of the amazing speakers at training camp.
