Those long, exhausting days eventually turned into memories, and at an older age, I found the same emotions of the child I once was, ruling my life again: depression, inadequacy, guilt.
I was walking a path which would lead me into years of self-destruction and woe. For years I would walk with a bruised, fragile heart on my sleeve, and be okay with the lack of nurture in my life.
These first nineteen flew by like the fastest, most suspenseful roller coaster ride ever. These memories are alive inside of me, and the scars remind me of the pain, but at times it feels like a dream. A dream that I’m still living.
After nineteen years of fighting, a life filled with hopelessness and pain suddenly crashes headfirst into a love so vast and so pure, that it changes everything. Every bit of the boy I used to be; cleansed. Made new. Redeemed. And every bit of the man I was becoming was powerful. Righteous. Pure.
I had met a man they named Jesus in the songs they sang to Him. I heard the songs He sang to me, and man did I fall hard.
Suddenly, I found purpose. I found a heartbeat that didn’t exist before. I became a fire.
And I was changed forever.
