I figured it would be extremely interesting to blog on Christmas night and compare my day today, to Christmas next year when I will be celebrating in Africa!!
Let us remember why we celebrate today, and what the true meaning is.
God, I pray that you soften the hearts of those that need you most. Lord, may you open their eyes to the living truth that is Jesus. God, may we not get focused on what gifts we're getting, or what gifts we're giving. But instead, focus on sharing the best gift of all: the love of Jesus. Father God, may You use this season to mobilize your troops, and move in a powerful way to advance the Kingdom. May we not get lost in the stresses of the season, but instead, get lost in the reason for the season. We live our lives for You. As an act of worship, as an act of surrender. You are the entire reason we exist. We worship You, and praise You, Jesus, for what You've done for us, what You're doing in our lives, and what You word promises to come.
My…..mom's, boyfriend's, mother (we call her Nan) is in the hospital. I'm not really educated enough to know what exactly is/was going on. But I know that her kidney's failed, she had a stroke, and she cannot breathe on her own. I didn't know what to expect, but when I got there, I couldn't handle it. I shut down. They had her hands restrained because they had to cut a hole in her throat so they could pump oxygen into her lungs. She couldn't talk because of that, but she was very much aware. She was constantly in and out of sleep because of the drugs, and the time of day. But, she was also in pain and kept trying to move around. Everyone was talking to her and interacting with her, but I couldn't. I just sat in the corner, and prayed. Now, my family isn't very……what's the word.."religious" or "God-fearing", so they probably think I'm nuts. But I know the power of my God. I know His capabilities, and I know that through Him, nothing is impossible. And after praying, I felt such assurance over the situation. I felt at peace. God still has a plan for her, and He isn't giving up on her quite yet.
God, I know Your glory. I know Your power. You are everlasting, and infinite. There is no struggle, no task that is too complicated for You. There is nothing that could make You turn Your back on us. Your provision is outstanding. Your grace is majestic. And Lord, your love endures forever. You are the God of life. You give abundantly, but it's also understandable that You take away. I am so thankful for your gracious approach, and for bringing such a loving woman into my life. She is filled with joy, and has helped me out in more ways than I'm sure she knows. Lord, just be with us, and use this time to draw hearts to You. I am so grateful for everything that You're doing in this place God. I am thankful that even through the mourning, we are able to bond and grow as a family. And Lord, that's Your grace at work. I love you.
To my future self,
I hope your Christmas is filled with joy and love. I'm sure the people here miss you just as much as you miss them. Keep your head up. I know that through the holidays it may get rough. You may get home sick, and miss your mommy, and miss those you've left behind in other countries, but your Father is all you need. Stand by that. You are doing His work. Holy work. Continue to be humble. Continue to stay dedicated and focused on your Reason. Do not let the desires of the world distract you and stray you away. God will never leave you. I know that this is all old news to you, and you already know it, but, just look back on this someday, when you're having a bad day, and just be thankful and remember why you're doing what you're doing.
