When I was younger I remember thinking and telling my parents that I would never leave home once I graduated high school. I would not move away and go to college. I decided that my fate was with my dog, Toby and my parents.
Little did I know at the time, God had much bigger plans for me.
Eventually I decided I was going to college and better yet I was going to get a huge scholarship for playing soccer and pursue my dream of becoming a pro.
Little did I know, God had much bigger and bolder plans for me.
Senior year whipped around the corner and no big scholarships and no fancy division 1 schools were asking for my application. I soon realized that my opportunity had longed passed to play at such a high level. It was one of the few unfortunate realities of living in a small ski town in the Rocky Mountains. As I processed this abrupt change in plans, I realized I didn’t know what I really wanted. As I started my college search nothing seemed to catch my eye. College seemed out of place, in terms of what the next step forward was to entail.
Little did I know, college was not in the plans God had for me.
Right now I’m in Africa sitting in the tiny living room of our ministry hosts small but comfortable house thinking of how this came to be. Here I am little more than four months into my trip and I have evangelized through door to door ministry, preached, sharing testimonies, praying for the sick to be healed, playing with kids under bridges, teaching English in schools, playing soccer with the youth and living out life worth showing to the world because it’s Christ like living.
I asked myself right before I left for this 9 month mission trip, how did my life derail and end up so “off course”. It was a time of major doubt in myself. I felt like God was silent, and in the first time in my life I questioned why? I felt this overwhelming weight of fear. I was scared to leave my family and friends. I felt inadequate to carry the responsibilities of this new lifestyle. And the feeling that I lacked when it came to being equipped in sharing the gospel. Again I was questioning wether this was the plan for my life in the bigger picture. The heavy realization that I was committing to nine months of my life, surviving in 4 foreign countries scared me. However, what scared me even more was going down a path separating me further away from Jesus. I realized My life was not “off course” in matter of fact for the first time in forever my life was “on course”. I know this because this is what God planned from the beginning.
In the first chapter of Jeremiah, God calls to him and says “before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet of the nations.” Similar to my story, Jeremiah was questioning Gods plans for him.
Jeremiah says, “Alas sovereign lord I do not know how to speak I am too young.”
But the Lord said to Jeremiah, “Do not say ‘I am too young’. You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you,”
Jeremiah protested in fear, feeling too inexperienced to carry this responsibility. But God told him age and experience did not matter, only His presents did. “In the face of powerful opposition, God would make Jeremiah strong as iron.”
I have never felt so in tuned to hear gods “voice” then I do now. Not once did that fear relay through my thoughts as I have been away for more than 4 months now. The comfort and security I feel especially through hard times on this trip is a testimony alone. God has been guarding my heart. In the book of psalms chapter 91:11 it says, “For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways.”
Psalms 91:14-16
“Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call on me and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.”
It gives me the greatest boldness to walk hand in hand with the Heavenly Father into all fears. Acknowledging that fear is a weapon for satin to take foothold of our false selves. We fall down this path of shame and regret every time, when we give into fear. However Light follows everywhere God is and exposes those false fears for something in exchange. I can either give in to fear and acknowledge satin or look up to our Heavenly Father and choose to walk in boldness.
Any task or dream doesn’t seem to big to achieve when it’s in gods plans. Anything is possible when you conquer fear with boldness knowing who your one true king is. This boldness does not come from me alone, all credit goes to God. Because he is the one who pulled me out of the dark and set me on level ground. Because of him I can overcome any fear. Because of him and only him I have no fear. We have a God who transforms us if we are willing. We are called to be audacious. And when we are willing to take a surprisingly bold risk, transformation will start to take place. I took a bold risk to go on this trip and I don’t want to ever look back. I got to see the transformation up close when I saw that my fear was exchanged for boldness.
I can do all things because he who created the heavens and earth conquered all fear when he died on the cross.
Palm chapter 23:4 “Even though I walk through the darkest, I will fear no evil, for you are with me”
Gods plans for us are bold, they are big and most importantly they are good.
(This was one of my sermons I preach during my ministry in Africa.)
Also I still need to raise about 6 thousand to be fully funded. I need all the support I can get. You can click the donate button at the top of my blog to donate. Thank you!
