HURT!
It all began around 10:30 this beautiful Thursday morning when Dr. Stevens entered the clinic room armed with a hefty blue folder and a smile. As the mere thought of vaccinations and needles inflicted me with pain, let alone the actual shots, I had been doing my best to avoid focusing on them. And now here I was forced to discuss the shots and diseases for almost an hour while knowing that the reality of pain was imminent. Dr. Stevens, however, was prepared. His easy manner and excitement over my trip quickly put me at ease. Amidst the exclamations of
he was able to efficiently explain the types of diseases I was at risk for, how they are transmitted, and what vaccinations I would need. We laughed. We joked. We talked about traveler's diarrhea. After we solidified the plan for my vaccinations, Malaria medications, and antibiotics, the doctor left me in the capable hands of his nurse Janell.
Now it came time for the pain. Janell didn't try to sugar coat it; these were going to hurt. But she did help me decide where to get each shot to minimize the pain, warn me when an injection was going to sting, help me relax my muscles to make it easier, and give me tips on how to avoid sore arms later.
As I reflected on my experience after leaving, two words came to mind: truth and grace. Dr. Stevens and Janell were very honest about the pain the shots were going to cause, the reality of the diseases and environments I will face, and the side effects of all the medications. It might be painful and it might be ugly, but it all goes hand in hand with the path I am on. And yet, with these truths came so much grace. Kind words and helpful tips were supplemented with telephone numbers and email addresses I was repeatedly told to use if I should need anything.
I was assured with a smile that they would most definitely respond. And that hefty blue folder Dr. Stevens had been carrying? That was packed full of extremely useful information for me. Not only did they include documents on all the vaccinations I received, but also reports for each of the 11 countries covering everything from heath concerns to traffic laws, climate, currency, and consular information. While Dr. Stevens and Janell both knew that they could not take away the pain and potential illness, they could prepare me for it and walk with me through it.
All of this reminded me of a passage from one of my favorite books, A Good and Perfect Gift by Amy Julia Becker. I've spent the last few days re-reading this beautiful account of a mother's battle with God and faith throughout the first couple years of the life of her daughter Penny who has Down Syndrome. In this particular passage a friend is praying over Amy Julia and in the prayer recalling an essay that Amy Julia had written herself a few years prior:
"And I remember that she wrote about your promise to be with us. Not your promise to take away pain or to explain everything, but your promise to be present in the midst of our pain and in the midst of our questions."
Our life and journey with Christ is so like my vaccination experience this morning. Pain and trials are inevitable, but God promises to be with us through them, and not just be with us, but give us the strength and guidance we need to get through them. In John 16:33 Jesus tells us, "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
Trouble is guaranteed, but so is peace and so is the ability to overcome. The positive aspects depend on us trusting, believing, and obeying Christ. God has provided us with everything we need: the Holy Spirit, His Word, and fellow believers. So why is our instinct to "not"? To not trust. To not believe. To not obey.It's because we don't want to suffer through the pain to get to the joy on the other side. So when God isn't moving fast enough or doing enough for our taste, we try to fix the pain ourselves. Or we ignore the pain until it is forced upon us so much that we have no choice but to stare it straight in the eye and finally deal with it.
And these are the reasons my arms hurt so much right now. Because despite all of Dr. Stevens' and Janell's advice to keep moving my arms and working them so that the soreness goes away faster, I have chosen to handle it my own way. So when the first sign of pain came I decided to keep my arms as still as possible, convincing myself that the pain would lessen on its own. WRONG. After hours of minimal movement, I tried to put on a jacket. The motions made my arms throb with pain; it had gotten worse not better. Like life in general, this is a "no pain no gain" situation. If I don't face the pain now and work through it given the tools provided by my doctor, my arms will continue to get stiff and sore. The only way it's going to start feeling better soon is if I face the pain right now knowing that it will be hard, but it will get better.
I know that this is a lesson God wants me to learn. When I am traveling the world for 11 months facing problems out of my control that are causing pain and suffering, I pray that I will remember today. At that time I want to think back to my initial refusal to follow the doctor's instructions and the how increased pain was the result. Then I want to look to God, confess my need for Him, and trust that He will walk me through the pain giving me peace and the ability to overcome along the way.
