“Beggar”- a person who lives by asking for gifts
“Needy”- in need of practical or emotional support; wanting or needy of affection, attention or reassurance.
It’s been over a month since my acceptance to the World Race and I have really just begun fundraising. I just recently handed out my fundraising letters to a few co-workers but have yet to mail it out to family and friends. I have yet to post anything on Facebook about donating and I haven’t reached out to churches or contacted organizations. I wasn’t really sure why it was taking me so long. I mean I’m not scared, and I don’t doubt God will move on peoples’ hearts to help it’s just…uncomfortable. It is so hard for me to ask people for help, even close family members and friends. I don’t ever want to be that girl who needs assistance or is always taking hand- outs. Growing up I learned the meaning of work. That if you wanted something you have to work for it, nothing is going to get handed to you. I quickly became independent. I learned that you can’t truly rely on others to provide for you, you have to take care of yourself. So that’s what I did. I worked for my car and worked to pay it off. I bought my school books and often times, took out loans to pay for college. I work and pay the monthly bills.
I am self-reliant.
But that is not at all what God wants. The moment I said yes to Jesus I put everything in his hands. It’s not self-reliance but total dependence on him. It’s not about taking pleasure in being an independent women but about being a daughter of God, knowing that I’m daddy’s little girl. It’s about putting my pride aside and letting him take care of me. He wants to shower me freely and abundantly with gifts only he can give. He wants to use his other children to bless me. There have been many times I refused these blessings from others. I’ve said no to meals because “I’m not hungry when really I don’t want to be seen as needy”. I’ve said no to money being given to me because “I got it, it’s not that much.” When I had no other choice but to receive gifts it’s always “You shouldn’t have done that, you didn’t have to.” I have been reminded by God, and many other believers, that this is rejecting God, that I am turning away his blessing.
I am Needy…..
I am a Beggar…..
In disguise.
I’m realizing that I have been these things all along. I am in need of God’s grace, of his mercy, forgiveness, spirit, patience, and of his sweet, one of a kind love. I can’t live without it. I beg for it every time I talk to him- “Lord fill me with your holy spirit” “God forgive me of my sins” “Father bless me”
I’m asking yet…refusing to receive. Yea it doesn’t make much sense does it? So here begins the change in me, to not feel obligated to do it on my own, to ask and not feel guilty or needy and for once -be happy to receive!
I’m asking God and all of you to please help me get fully funded for this mission’s trip. Right now I am at 1% funded, I still have $15,400 more to go. PLEASE consider joining me to further the Kingdom.
To donate you can click on the “Support Me” link, or you may mail checks to Adventures in Missions, PO Box 534470, Atlanta, GA 30353-4470. Checks may be made out to adventures in missions. **On the memo line please put The World Race-Elizabeth Whitfield, so that it goes in my account. To sponsor me monthly go to http://www.adventures.org/dynapay
I love you all so much and am eternally grateful for your donations, support and prayers!
