Why am I here God?
Why did you bring me here?
Probably the 2 most common
questions that I, myself, and my 39 other squad-mates will ask
ourselves daily. And I’ve heard a lot of the comments constantly such
as “You’re not here for yourself, this year is about God’s people,â€�
or “If you’re here for yourself stop being so selfish and re-think
why you’re here in the first place.â€�
But can I just be
“selfish� for a second? Sometimes I do think this trip was and is
for me. Before any judgment passes let me explain. You see sometimes
I think He brought me on this trip not because I need
to realize this world is broken, because I know full and well this
world is broken and my own heart has been broken over it for years!
God didn’t need to bring me on an 11-month excursion just to show me
that this world is full of brokenness. He just didn’t. Now this may
sound nuts but what if….
….what if God
brought me this far to remove me from my world, from my
mess, from my brokenness just for my benefit? To think
God actually wanted to do something for me? Yeah, right. I don’t
know. But…
….what if He
removed me from all of what is so familiar to me because maybe….
He wants to show me how
much His heart breaks for me.
He wants me to
realize just how broken I still am.
He wants my heart to
start breaking for myself.
To be brokenness at its
best.
“Liz,
my heart is breaking for YOU Daughter!�
So what
if it is about me in a sense? Is that selfish? I don’t think
so. Because it’s not until we learn to be broken of all we are that
we learn to heal, to be made whole, and most importantly, to love. I
feel like we all spend so much time trying to love others well but
what about loving ourselves well too? I know, what a concept right?
But honestly, do I really love myself? Well, I guess that’s an
easy answer:
No way. I need
God’s help! I mean let’s be honest; how can I love well when all I do
is hate the person I’m supposed to love first…myself. Not possible.
None of us can love others well until we begin to love ourselves
first. I’m realizing that with each passing month.
Thank goodness our
Father doesn’t do report cards on our salvation, it seems I’m way
behind on this simple, basic lesson. But someday I’ll get it right.
And so I’m still
serving God’s people. I’m still doing ministry, caring for the
orphans, praying for the widows, building the churches, I’m doing
everything I signed up for because I do desire to serve God above
anything else. But if in the end, God’s goal (not mine) was all along
to honestly to give me a heart for myself, to break me, and heal me
of all that has torn me apart in the past, then it must be true.
He calls me Daughter, and He’s got me. Just because I’ve forgotten to take care of myself, doesn’t mean He has.
Man, do I serve an amazing God or what?…
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I am entering into Month 8/11 of the race and am still in need of $1300 to finish! If you’d like to help me finish this race serving God’s people, and most importantly making it back to INDIA, I would very much appreciate your support. Click on “Support Me!” Above to donate! God Bless You!
