My new friend Lungile kept saying this over and over again. I spent all day with her on the first day of March. It was my first day of knowing her, but I had been hearing about her for weeks from Billy and Calie on my team. Every Monday and Friday we go to the Hope House and they would head straight for her room, and spend the entire time there; finally I was getting to spend time with her too.
“I want to go home.”
We told her we didn’t want her to go home because then we wouldn’t be able to see her when we came to visit. So we picked her up, dressed her, and put her in her wheel chair to take her to the church service we were putting on that afternoon.
“I want to go home.”
But she didn’t have anyone to take her home. All of her immediate relatives had already died, and her extended family had abandoned her and refused to come get her. What she asked for seemed hopeless. And then I began to hear God. He was saying He wanted to take her Home, and suddenly I knew she didn’t understand the depth of her request.
“I want to go home.”
I began praying that God would take her Home – yes, that she would die of the horrible disease of AIDS that had been wrecking her body for too long now. He wanted to take her. It was time. God said, “Tell her about Home”.
So I told her I knew she wanted to go to her Swazi home, but that there was a Home even greater that I long for. A place where she gets to see Jesus face-to-face, where she gets to have a beautiful singing voice, and gets to dance again like when she was young. A place of peace, of rest, and of joy restored; a place where she is loved.
She listened intently. She had been afraid of dying, but now God showed me that He was releasing her to want to go to her real Home. I didn’t know what would happen, but I prayed He’d take her soon. I didn’t want to see her suffer any longer, and I knew He was wanting to wrap her up in His arms.
We left the Hope House, and found out a few days later that Lungile was doing much worse and had been taken to the hospital. We were trying to figure out how to find her at the hospital, but before we could try it was Monday and we were again at the Hope House.
One week had passed since God told me He wanted to take her. While I was still in the van, Calie frantically ran up to my window and told me Lungile was back and that someone told her she was probably in her last hours of life. When I walked in her room, I saw a much different woman than I saw only a week before. She was too weak to move, and could barely speak. My spirit whispered, “Oh Jesus, take her quickly.”
Almost half of the team gathered in the room with Lungile that day. Calie held her hand, and Billy was close beside. The rest of us formed a semi-circle around them as we worshipped and prayed for two hours. I prayed that worship would never cease over her from that moment on, that she would literally leave the worship of the saints and angels on earth to be ushered into the worship of the saints and angels in heaven. I believe it happened. I saw it happening. God prompted me to read Revelation 4 to her about the Throne Room as He simultaneously prompted Ryan (who was leading worship) to have us sing “Revelation Song” over her. She was going to see the things I was reading so quickly.
Eventually we left her to go in peace. About an hour after we left her, and right before we were going to leave the Hope House, we were told she had passed. Passed from death to life. I have never been with someone who got to be so close to Jesus so soon after I was with them. I felt privileged and honored, unsure of why I was allowed to be there for her transformation.
I saw lots of hard things that day. I still don’t understand why death had to be as painful for Lungile as it was, or why God let her suffer so long, but I trust God and I trust His timing.
But I also saw marvelous things – things I can only begin to understand the gravity of. I saw a woman who had been longing to be loved most of her life finally be loved, really and truly. She knew she was loved by Billy and Calie especially, and “I love you” was the only thing I understood her say that day, to which Calie tearfully replied “I love you, too“. I saw a woman who nobody wanted be missed by a group of people from half-way across the world, and woman whose physical family abandoned her be embraced by her family in God.
She did not die alone that day. Lungile’s prayers for love and for home were finally answered. That day was beautiful because of where she was going. Praise God that death is not the end! Praise Him that pain and suffering cease with the hope in His name! Praise Him that there is a place for Lungile to go that is far better!
I am confident she’s using her beautiful singing voice; oh, and how I wish I could see her DANCE!
