Guatemala. What a month. To start, I was a new team leader. We were a new team. On top of all of that, we had ATL, ask the Lord. That meant we had no set ministry other than to ask the Lord and see where he wanted us to go and who he wanted us to talk to… wait what? What am I supposed to do? How do I know if what I’m hearing is from God? How can we as a team grow if we are moving around all month? What if some of us hear one thing and some of us hear something different? I had so many questions. I also tend to be an anxious person, so I was so nervous leading into month 5.
Team leading brought with it a whole new set of challenges. I found that I was overly focused on my team, how everyone was doing, on the direction we were heading. I picked up a lot of things that my teammates were putting down, and none of those things were mine to pick up. I felt hurt, I felt confused, I felt anxious, and I kept trying to fix everything myself.
But as usual, despite all my questions, hurts, and anxieties, Jesus proved his faithfulness.
One of my teammates posted a picture on Instagram of us in Guatemala. A random girl we had never met named Pam commented on her picture saying she wanted to meet up and hear more about Jesus. We met up with her at a coffee shop in the main square of Antigua and had our hearts blown away. Pam was 18. She hadrecently graduated high school and was working as an elementary school teacher. She asked us each who Jesus is in our lives. With that simple yet bold question, my doubts and my anxiety about this new season of my life were brought into perspective by the Holy Spirit.
This World Race had become my focus, so who had I allowed Jesus to be in my life? I certainly wasn’t allowing him to govern my heart. I had allowed new hurts to open up old wounds. I thought more about what I “should” be doing instead of asking the Lord what He had for me. Funny how he brings things full circle like that. I had spent most of my ask the Lord month trying to make my own plans and trying to heal my own hurts instead of turning to the only One who can help. Jesus is my comforter. He promises that.
“For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.” 2 Corinthians 1:5
yeah, I’m going to get hurt. So was Jesus. I’m going to face uncertainties. I’m going to make mistakes. People will get mad at me. Jesus already endured these trials and won these battles for me and he stands in a place where he alone can be my comforter.
“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are- yet was without sin.” Hebrews 4:15
Pam’s one simple question, who is Jesus in my life, sparked an answer from the Spirit to my heart. Jesus is the one I turn to for comfort because he knows, he understands, and he loves me. He lives me so much. Why would I turn anywhere else?
