I have spent the last 2 weeks or so in a small village named, Viile-Tecii. This has been an atypical month for a number of 
reasons. For one, our entire squad is doing ministry in this village. This has never happened in our 9 months on the field. It has been a blessing to be able to spend time and serve with others on the squad. We have also been serving alongside 3 other teams from the August squad. It is great to talk with and encourage those who are only 2 months into the process of refinement, and to likewise be encouraged by their newness and excitement. I mean let’s be honest, if you have followed this journey at all, you know it is about refinement. I thought I was coming to serve, but really, I signed 
up to be changed or as C.S. Lewis puts it, killed. In Mere Christianity, Lewis says: “The Christian way is different: harder and easier. Christ says, ‘Give me all. I don’t want so much of your time and so much of your money and so much of your work: I want you. I have not come to torment your natural [false] self, but to kill it. No half-measures are good. I don’t want to cut off a branch there, I want to have the whole tree down…Hand over the whole natural self, all the desires which you think innocent as well as the ones you think wicked – the whole outfit. I will give you a new [true] self instead. In fact, I will give you Myself: my own will shall become yours.”
By the time I get this blog posted, there will only be 9 weeks until I am back on US 
soil. It is kind of a weird feeling. It is exciting because there is family and friends I am anxious to see and a precious nephew I can’t wait to meet. It is scary because I have no clue what I’m doing, how I’m going to buy a car and how the little money I have to my name is going to last till I get on my feet. It is sad because the 5 girls I have spent every day with 24/ 7 since January 4th will no longer be a part of my daily life and the refinement process the Lord is taking me through. That is a little glimpse of the thoughts and possibilities that funnel through my mind on a daily basis.
I wish I could write you a blog about Romania and the people of this village. The creation leaves me speechless every morning when I go for a walk…and the conversation is always good with whomever I am walking with. I have met many women, played with lots of kids, attempted to do laundry by hand, picked apples and even swept dirt for a lady (that was a first). But the truth is, I haven’t been engaged here. I have been distracted. There are so many people, it is easy to sit back, do your own thing and not be noticed. I haven’t pushed myself and dealt with the distractions; instead I have indulged in TV Shows on my computer and 
food. I’m not proud of the way I’ve responded, but it has been a good indication of old tendencies that still exist and it has reminded me there is still so much that needs to be killed. I have spent a lot of time in 1 Peter the last two months. He talks about the process of refinement. It is a painful process, not a one-time deal. It takes time and continues on and on until your faith is “proved genuine and results in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.” Please pray that I will continue to give Christ my all, so that He can continue to cut off branches, His will shall become mine and I will be conformed more into His image. One of the biggest lessons I have learned this year is about being present. I want to be as present and engaged the last few months as I was the first 8. Pray for all of us, that our eyes would be fixed on Christ and all He still wants to do. We will be at a conference for the next week and then onto the Ukraine, at least that is the latest…really who knows where we’ll end up. That is the beauty of the race. More to come from the next destination.
