I am about to enter month 5 of the World Race. I can hardly believe 4 months have passed on this journey. I am in awe of every life the Lord has allowed me to be a part of over the last 4 months and the things He has allowed me to see and do. I remember the first night on the plane like it was yesterday and I remember reading Psalm 26 and asking the Lord to test me, to try me, to examine my heart and mind and soul and to change me to be more like Him. I claimed His love before me and I set out, fully confident of what He had called me to and where He was taking me. It has not been easy, but I KNOW that it is worth it. I have no control, limited freedom and no matter how hard and long the days get I cannot run from where He has me. He has stripped me down and is answering the very prayers I prayed. I am wrestling through it fighting to believe who I am in Him and that He is more than enough. I don’t mean a physical battle, although I have some sweet scars that beg to differ. 
It is a spiritual battle and it is fierce, the enemy is real and on the prowl, but my God is bigger. In Christ I have the victory and light is brighter than darkness. I have not allowed God to do what He wanted with me and I am ready to start. My armor is on and I am ready to fight. Many of us pray the prayer more of Him, less of me, but tonight and from this day forth as I leave Thailand and set out into Indonesia, I am praying kill me Lord and show me who I am in you. Teach me to walk in that. If it means surrendering every 5 minutes to Him, than that is what it will take.
It is a spiritual battle and it is fierce, the enemy is real and on the prowl, but my God is bigger. In Christ I have the victory and light is brighter than darkness. I have not allowed God to do what He wanted with me and I am ready to start. My armor is on and I am ready to fight. Many of us pray the prayer more of Him, less of me, but tonight and from this day forth as I leave Thailand and set out into Indonesia, I am praying kill me Lord and show me who I am in you. Teach me to walk in that. If it means surrendering every 5 minutes to Him, than that is what it will take.
Two Songs I’m claiming as I walk forth into this next month…
I’m giving You my heart, all that is within. I lay it all down, for the sake of You my King. I’m giving You my dreams, laying down my rights. I’m giving up my pride, for the promise of new life. Lord I want nothing more than to follow you with all my heart. No matter what it takes Lord. You are my King and I am your daughter. I have laid down my dreams and my life. And as I live in community with my sisters I am laying down my rights. My rights to privacy, my rights to space, my rights to money, my rights to do anything outside of your will. I give up all that I think I am Lord to be all that you want me to be. Teach me to rest in your arms and your love Lord. To love you with all my heart is the life I long for.
And I surrender all to You, all to You. And I surrender all to You, all to You. Lord I know you have great plans for my life, plans to prosper me and not to harm me, to give me a future and a hope. And even though I have no clue what that looks like or even what I think I want it to look like, I trust you to take care of it. I surrender myself Lord to your will. I trust you with my life. I believe that you want to use me in mighty ways to further your kingdom and so I’m laying myself down again. I praise you for always taking me back.
I’m singing You this song, I’m waiting at the cross. All the world holds dear, I count it all as loss. For the sake of knowing You, for the glory of Your name. To know the lasting joy, even sharing in Your pain. This song is for you Lord and no one else. I no longer care what anyone else thinks and I am laid down at the cross. The cross means everything to me and everything this world tells me I need means nothing. Lord you are all that I want to know and trust. Father teach me when things are hard to look upon your suffering and remember all that you went through for me. That is where true joy is found.
And as I surrender He continues to meet me. This song by Bethany
Dillon speaks my heart right now and where I am at. I will only post
the chorus, but the whole song is worth checking out. He comforts our
weary hearts, we can never fall beyond His reach and in His arms is
where we can unfold completely. He sees the good in broken things and
it is Him that changes our hearts of stone. It is Him that sets us
free. So as I wrap up my thoughts this is what I sing and the beauty
is that even when I can’t, He helps me to keep saying it.
Dillon speaks my heart right now and where I am at. I will only post
the chorus, but the whole song is worth checking out. He comforts our
weary hearts, we can never fall beyond His reach and in His arms is
where we can unfold completely. He sees the good in broken things and
it is Him that changes our hearts of stone. It is Him that sets us
free. So as I wrap up my thoughts this is what I sing and the beauty
is that even when I can’t, He helps me to keep saying it.
Hallelujah, Hallelujah. Whatever’s in front of me.
Help me to sing hallelujah.
Hallelujah, Hallelujah. Whatever’s in front of me.
I choose to sing hallelujah.
As I head into Indonesia on Monday, I am giving up my rights to communication back home. This is our ‘ATL’ month and I am asking the Lord to show Himself to me in ways I can’t even begin to comprehend. As I let go of more I am praying that I will see more and more of Him. Please pray for me in this process. Also I have a few squadmates that are still in need of financial support. The Lord has blessed me abundantly in this area, so I am asking you to pray about blessing one of my teammates in the same way you have blessed me. Her name is Kara Frate and she is an unbelievable woman of God. She is a servant to all and Team B.L.I.N.G. would not be the same without her. You can give to her at http://karafrate.theworldrace.org. Please pray for God’s provision for her and others that are still in need.
(my girl kara and I enjoying some literal ice cream sandwhiches)
