As a new college graduate who is blessed with full-time employment, I have been feeling incredibly self-sufficient. I have payed for rent, gas, health insurance, food, clothes, and still have some $$ to spend and save for myself. I am slowly (read very slowly) beginning to fundraise for this adventure I get to embark on in September. I finally understand complicated “grown up” terms and their relative significance to adults such as myself. For example: 401(k), tax credit, deductible, interest payment, and copayment. It really is exciting stuff!!! And while all of this newfound knowledge and independence seems very impressive, (mostly just to my mom…) I am learning the hard way that it does not impress God.
I need to confess that before today, I had not gone to Jesus in surrender for quite a while. I have become so unbelievably comfortable being surrounded by predictable circumstances. It takes humility and child-like faith to depend completely on His plans instead of on my own. I know that the Lord requires us as his children to let go of all we have and all we know to follow him, but most of the time, I think that idea is certifiably insane. Are you kidding me? All that I have?! Thanks, but no thanks.
So this is how I have been conducting myself these past couple months…
I am livin’ the dream in the ATL! I am the stereotypical sassy and strong independent black woman! I don’t need no man! I am financially stable and can handle all the responsibilities of adulthood! I can do it all by myself! It’s me against the world, and I am winning! College educated, empowered, and free to be me! #girlpower
(Disclaimer: I’m exaggerating my situation a bit for dramatic effect)
But underneath all of these charades is insecurity, boredom, and even a bit of loneliness. I’ve tried my best to be responsible and self-reliant, but for what? I have cared so much about impressing my coworkers and boss and new friends and boys and parents. Why in the world do I have this ridiculous need to prove myself and to win the approval of other people?
And that is when it hit me.
The more dependent I am on the opinion of Christ, the less obsessive I am over the opinions of others.
(and vice verse)
It’s the American dream, right? We have the perfect family, the perfect car, the perfect home, the perfect friends, and the perfect church – and everyone knows it. And while we are hoarding all of these riches on Earth, our souls are completely dead. Sure, it is easier to be surrounded by comfortable circumstances and planed out futures, but it is not satisfying. A life dependent on luxury is not what we are called to as believers.
What we need instead is just Jesus. His grace is the only source of life we have as believers.
We must depend on Jesus more than branches depend on the vine. When we neglect his grace, our leaves wither and die.
We must depend on Jesus more than a newborn child depends on his mother for milk. When we neglect his grace, we go hungry and starve.
We must depend on Jesus more than a sailor depends on a lighthouse in the midst of a storm. When we neglect his grace, we are lost and are swept away to sea.
If all of these metaphors seem drastic to you, then hopefully you’re getting the point. When we choose to rest in the love of Christ and prioritize it above all else, our lives will start to look a little different.
Don’t be like I have been and neglect the gift of grace that you have been given. Be courageous and dive into a life lived alongside an amazing Savior. Let him know that you need him.
VERSES:
For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul?
– Matthew 16:26
Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also
– Matthew 6:19-21
I Am the True Vine “I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bare fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.
– John 15:1-11
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
– Psalm 73:26
For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.
– Galatians 1:10
