Yesterday
was our last day at Happy Tree. I knew my heart was going to break again as I
said goodbye to these precious children that I love so much. Goodbyes are made
infinitely more difficult when you can’t communicate when I am unable to look
the kids in the eyes and tell them how much I love them, how I will miss them,
and how much the Lord delights in them. However, there are moments in this day,
snapshots of goodbyes, which I will treasure always.
Rothana wanted to hug me all day. We hugged and laughed and
played making the most of our last few hours together. However, 
as our day drew
closer to an end he became quieter and quieter- more and more withdrawn. By the
end of the day he just walked silently with his arms wrapped around my waist.
Right before we had to leave I gave him a picture of the two of us. He took
this gift without a word and quickly slipped it into his pocket, but after that
every time he thought I wasn’t looking he would pull the picture out of his
pocket, study it carefully and his face was just beaming with joy. I will never
forget that smile!
Kita was not going to make saying goodbye easy. All
afternoon she wanted to be near me, but she was obviously upset that I was
leaving. She wouldn’t let me take her picture or hug her. As she went in to eat
dinner, she brought me into the room to sit with her. I tried to tell her that
I couldn’t stay, that it was time for me to leave. I went to hug her, but she
refused. So I hugged her as she squirmed and fought against my embrace. I held
her a whispered in her ear, “chom reap lia (goodbye)”. As soon as I had uttered
the words, she fell into my embrace as the tears rolled down her cheeks. We
just sat there and hugged and cried. Then I will never forget how she looked up
at me through tear-stained eyes, grabbed my right hand, and led me outside.
By
the time I stepped outside the tears were just rolling down my cheeks. I looked
up to see Veasna standing two steps
above me. I looked into his eyes with a big smile spread across my face. He
walked quietly over to me and wiped the tears from my cheeks and then gave me a
big hug.
I walked to the gate with silent,
tear-filled steps Kita holding my right hand, Rothana with his arms around my
waist on the left, and Veasna walking right in front of me. My heart was
breaking! I wanted to tell them how much I loved them, how much the Lord loved
them, and how much I would miss them. Instead, I embraced each of them as
tightly as I could, kissed them on the cheek, and whispered the only words I
knew to say in Khmer “chom reap lia”. I blew kisses to Kita (as is our goodbye
ritual everyday when leaving the orphanage). She returned my kiss and then ran
back inside the orphanage. The two boys stood there smiling with tears in their
eyes yelling “bye bye” and “love you!” until we could no longer see or hear one
another.
We rode back to New Hope in quiet
reflection with only the occasional memory and laughter it evoked breaking the
silence. I thought of these kids all night and all day on the bus to Siem Reap.
I have been treasuring these snapshots of goodbye, moments forever cemented in
my memory.
