Th
e first time I shook his hand my heart broke. I looked into Mario’s bloodshot eyes and all I could see was pain. He is so broken. He began coming to Iglesia Salim each night, but sitting out on the curb across the street, unsure whether or not he was ready to enter. He knows that he has made a mess of his life, but he is still fighting the Lord.
Mario is a 20 year old who is heavily addicted to drugs and alcohol. He and his brothers are involved in a local gang. Mario’s face bears a teardrop tattoo marking the murder of a 3-year-old girl that he committed a couple of years ago. The constant stream of drugs and alcohol is an attempt to numb the pain and temporarily bury the memories of this event. Even when he smiles, his eyes still reveal the burden of his brokenness.
A couple of my squadmates, Natalie and Katie, have befriended Mario. They have begun to speak to him of the truth, life, hope, and forgiveness found only in Christ. We have all been interceding for Mario daily; praying for the Lord’s love to break through his defenses and for the Lord in His mercy to rescue Mario from the path he is on.
Sunday night as I sat in church worshipping I felt such a sweet presence of the Lord fill the building. I kept praying to the Lord, “More of You, more of Your Spirit in this place.” During the service the Lord laid Mario upon my heart. I began to cry out on his behalf. I began to pray Jesus’s Isaiah 61 ministry over Mario, “He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners” (Isaiah 61:1b). Tears streamed down my cheeks as I interceded for him.
As I looked up I saw Mario at the alter, being prayed over by Natalie and Katie, and he too had tears in his eyes. Mario talked about wanting to leave his life in the gang, but he feared what would happen to him if he tried. It is a beautiful thing to watch the Lord calling out to Mario, calling him to grace and freedom.
Our excitement quickly turned to heartbreak as Mario returned to church the next day still drunk. It’s so hard to watch him choose merely numb his pain when the Lord is offering healing. I can see the joy, healing, and LIFE that Mario is walking away from, but I also know that opening yourself to joy also means opening yourself to pain and Mario has been doing everything he can to keep himself from feeling the full weight of pain in his life. He’s just not ready to dive into that pain yet- even when there is forgiveness and healing on the other side.
It’s so heartbreaking to watch him continue to choose life apart from the Lord, especially when we have so little time left with him. But I have to choose to trust the Lord’s promise “being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:6). I know the Lord began a work in Mario’s heart on Monday. I have to place him in the Lord’s hands, trusting that Jesus loves Mario more than we could ever love him, and that He will continue pursuing his beloved child until he is found in Christ.
