Seven weeks. Only 49 days until I am leaving Atlanta to embark upon this journey called the World Race. I think the reality that I’m leaving my life here is just beginning to sink in.
A couple weeks ago my younger brother came to visit. I think it’s the last time I will see him before I leave. I have only have 5 weeks of work left. My bedroom is now filled with bags of clothes to donate and half packed boxes. Someone offered me storage space, but I turned it down knowing that I’m not planning to come back to life as I know it now with all of my comforts.
I realize this is not just saying goodbye for a year. I’m saying goodbye to my family and friends for the year, but I’m also saying goodbye to my comforts, my current perspective, and the person that I am today. The World Race is going to be much more than changing my location or country of residence for the year. It’s a process of changing my heart; of changing my vision of the world, the Lord, and of myself. It’s a process of increasing my capacity to love, my dependence upon God, my faith, and my willingness and ability to walk in His Spirit.
Here I am fearful of relinquishing control, of surrendering my comforts, of leaving the life that I know, and fearful of all the pain that I will be faced with in the world. But I know that this is what I need. I’m excited to step into life in the Kingdom. I’m excited to see and be a part of the work that the Lord is doing all over the world. I’m excited to hold and love orphans in every nation. I’m excited to become the woman that my Lord has created me to be. I’m excited to fall more in love with Him.
For the last month I’ve been avoiding doing all of the things I need to do to prepare for the race because I wasn’t ready to deal with my fears, to deal with the reality of this journey. But I’m not hiding any longer. I’m getting real with myself. I’m sitting before my Lord, exposing all the mixed emotions welling up in my heart. I’m done hiding. Now I’m finally ready to begin saying goodbye well.
