Real.
That is the one word that keeps coming to mind when I think about the 10 days that was training camp. I’ve been struggling to put into words how training camp was and I will admit that every time I have been asked about it this past week I cringe not knowing how to answer. Answering ‘good’ just seemed so much like the expected generic answer that took no thinking to say but then when you hesitate people automatically assume it was bad. It was neither bad nor good; it was real. Real life.
I won’t lie, there were parts that took getting used to. The first cup of icy water you pour over your head during a bucket shower literally takes your breath away every single time. The intense heat and humidity that causes you to almost constantly have rivers of sweat running down is something that is unavoidable. The knowledge that there are spiders and snakes that can kill you is a little unsettling especially when you are sleeping out in the open under the stars with only a sleeping bag to protect you. The unavoidable hills you need to climb to basically anywhere.
There were also parts that were really cool. Like getting to meet the real live people behind the facebook pictures you’ve been creeping for months. Listening to incredible sound of the insects chirping at night so loud that it makes conversations difficult. Realizing that your mind is a powerful thing; I ate a probably about a quarter of the amount of food I normally eat and performed sizable doses of physically activity because on top of the almost daily set workouts climbing those hills everyday to get around is no joke when you are from flat prairie land. Also I learned not just to eat but to enjoy and be thankful for food that back home you couldn’t have paid me to eat because when your breakfast on Africa day consists of a hardboiled egg, half a banana, and some cold french fries you damn well eat that egg…even if you just dropped it on the floor that you are sitting on…because by the way, the cultural norm for the day is women eat sitting on the floor.
But overall training camp was real life. I guess I didn’t realize it before I went but I think a part of me thought it would be different…or maybe just more intense.
Every spring break there is a 10 day inner city missions trip for high school youth in my city called Soar. For 10 days they eat together, sleep together, pray together, worship together, learn together, minister together, laugh cry and grow together. I have been attending it for 6 years now and Soar has always been one of my favourite times of year. I love going either as a guest or as a leader and having my ways of thinking challenged, my ideas of Christianity stretched, and my understanding of how God sees me made deeper. The joy and peace I get while freely worshiping my guts out or standing back in awe as I watch the approx. 300 teenagers declare their love for God through song and dance is a spiritual high and feeling like no other that.
In many ways training camp is structured very similarly to Soar. We too ate, slept, prayed, worshiped, learned, laughed, and cried together but I couldn’t seem to find my high. At first I figured it might take a few days as I was in new and unfamiliar surroundings with new people and new songs, but that didn’t help. Then I thought there must be something wrong with me, maybe I had to try harder and channel my inner Soar feelings; but that obviously didn’t work either. Finally, I just resigned myself to the thought that maybe the high wouldn’t happen this time. I’d love to say that when I gave up searching for it it came, but it didn’t. And I guess that is why I have been having a hard time explaining to people the experience of training camp. I am not saying it was a bad time by any means and yes there were moments when I felt the high but over all I guess it measure up to the expectations I didn’t even realize I went into it with. Oddly enough, while talking through all this with my mentor once I got home she told me she was glad I didn’t get the high because it again reminded me that while this journey is outside of normal Canadian life, it is still real life just in another country and that I need to live in the moment and enjoy it for what it is and not be searching after the high that, while feeds my soul, explodes like a firework that then fades away.
So what did I learn at training camp. I learned a lot. I learned mentally I am a lot stronger that I previously gave myself credit for. I learned not to complain, though sometimes the desire to do so won out, because while yes you are hot, sweaty, and disgusting so is everyone else. I learned that if I am going to grow spiritually then I need to take responsibility for that and stop making excuses like there is no where comfortable to sit and journal or sit and read my bible; that just because I am on a missions trip doesn’t mean that making time for those things is any easier. I learned that being part of a team means speaking up and saying the things that need to be said, the good bad and ugly, because my voice, like everyone else’s, has value.
For those that I have struggled through answering how training camp was or for those I haven’t had a chance yet to talk to as well as for those of you who I don’t even know but are reading this, I hope that gives you some insight into my 10 days spent outside Gainesville, Georgia.
