As I sit here pondering the last two weeks I can’t help but grow a little restless. I’m back in normal society again after spending a life changing 10 days in Georgia and the urge to leave is no longer a whisper but a shout. I prayed that God would break me then put me back together into someone who looks and acts more like Him. For some reason I didn’t expect Him to take that literally, but he did. I was broken in ways that I have never experienced and I was able to receive his love in such a fullness that its indescribable. I will, to the best of my ability, try to describe some of the things that happened at training camp.
Arriving at training camp was not nearly as nerve wracking as I thought it would be. Usually I approach this type of situation with some anxiety, especially when it involves meeting large amounts of people in a small amount of time. This time was different! I walked into training camp and this overwhelming peace filled me from the inside out. I could feel the presence of God immediately.
One of the things about training camp is that it pulls you out of your comfort zone just enough to give you a bit of a glimpse of what will happen on your journey. This is made known almost as soon as you arrive. You need only look at where we slept, where we went to the restroom, and how we took showers. Needless to say bucket showers aren’t all that bad, it’s just the thought of giving up the comfort of a normal shower or a normal bed that makes any of these things such a challenge.
The best and worst part about training camp actually go hand in hand. The most challenging part of training camp was not hiking 3 miles with a 35-pound pack on your back. It wasn’t sleeping in tents, using only portapotties, or taking bucket showers. Eating crickets wasn’t even all that bad if I think about it. The most challenging part was putting away my own desires and allowing God to do whatever he needed in my heart and mind. I used to think that I was ok, “I’m doing good” is what I told everyone. I didn’t need help or healing. Come to find out if you ask God to break you he does, but out of that brokenness came immense healing and an unspeakable joy.
If I learned anything at training camp it’s that as long as I live God will always be shaping and molding me into the person he created me to be. He isn’t here to make me a better Christian, his primary agenda is to love me. If this is true in my life as I believe it to be, then there is no way that I am just going to sit still and not share his love with the world.
35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or anguish, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? 36 Even as it is written, For thy sake we are killed all day long; We were accounted as sheep for the slaughter. 37 Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. 38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:35-39
