I am sorry.
This post is not going to measure up to any expectations that I had in mind, originally.
This entry was going to be saturated with hand selected photos of what my team and I had seen and experienced over the past three weeks. There was going to be a link to a video I was going to make; a slide show, integrated smoothly with video clips to let you join in the moments that have already become memories, all while a perfect song plays just loud enough to slowly evoke some emotion without being a distraction.
HOWEVER,
this is not what the following consists of, and for that I apologize. The reason for the lack of visual attractions is that the computer I brought with me, purchased with in the past 27 days, is not working. This is a fact not a complaint. At least as of now. If I had wrote this blog a few days ago I might not have been able to say that. It has made me think a lot.
This is the first time in years that I have not had my own form of technology to access the web, email, Facebook, connect to people miles and time zones away, and at first I was scared. And the fact that I was scared made me angry. Why was I so terrified?
Control, or better yet lack there of.
I had lost something that I have had control over for years and now it was out of my hands. I immediately thought of ways to get my phone sent to me so that I could at least have some connection while I try to figure out how to get my computer fixed. But I left my phone home for a reason and I have enjoyed the lack of phantom vibrates and the constant refreshing to see if I have received any new messages.
Again, at first I was annoyed/worried/angry/inconvenienced but it did not take too long for my thought process to flip. It made me think, really think, about all the wonderful things I’ve experienced thus far and how blessed my team is by having such wonderful people to make this transition process so easy for us.
My teammates have been more than generous with sharing their devices with me (shout out to Alysse for letting me borrow her iPad to post this blog, thanks gurl, you da best!), and I truly appreciate it.
This lesson just follows the trend of what I’ve been working on since launch. Lose all expectations. It seems that every time I have any sort of expectation He turns me around and takes all control out of my hands.
I need to get comfortable with giving up control and realize I cannot do this on my own. I need to rely on The One who called me here in the first place. My resistance and hesitations have not deterred His persistence to get my attention. Although not quite ready to cannon ball into this with no qualms, He is patient and understanding giving me time to settle.
This is only the beginning, there is so much more to come.
And I can’t wait!
Until next time, later days!
***I will update with pictures as soon as possible! Also, we leave for Thailand on October 2nd, month two here we come!!***
