It would be the understatement of the year if I said I love children. Every since I can remember, I wanted to be a devoted wife and a loving mother of many children. In fact, I want to have enough children to start family athletic teams. I am not talking about some measly volleyball team either–more like a football team of children. I know parenting is not an easy job at all, but I am so confident God will provide me with a man who will help me lay a strong foundation for raising kids. I am confident in my ability to be an awesome mom, and I know God will give me strength when I am weak, patience when I am tired, and grace when I make mistakes.
But there is one thing I was never confident about: what if one of my children has a disability? Would I be strong enough to handle it? What if I couldn’t find it in my heart to love them in a way I would love a “normal” child?
I understand fully that once you become a parent, you are a parent for life; however, there is a difference between being a parent and being a parent of a child with special needs. Some children would even be dependent upon you until the day you died.
Could I really handle that? Or would having a child with a disability cause my heart to be disabled as well?
But God has taught me a lot regarding children with special needs and has put it on my heart that I could, in fact, handle having a child with special needs. Within the four weeks at Sarah’s Covenant Homes, I have fallen madly in love with 9 boys. They make my day brighter and I am heart broken when I have to say goodbye at the end of the night. If I can have such strong love for children who are not mine and who I worked with for such a short time, how much more will I love my own child–disability or not?
This month has taught me a lot about parenting and has made me excited to be a mother. I am confident no matter what children God blesses me with, He will also give me the love they need the most!
(Side note: Mom and Dad– no worries…I promise to not come home with 11 kids from 11 countries. That would be irresponsible. They couldn’t possibly all fit in my big pack.)
