My decision to apply for the World Race was not made lightly. In fact, it took me a solid year to actually respond to God on the matter. I just imagine God sighing and doing that, I’m rolling my eyes at you right now and smiling at the same time thing. I think we’ve all done that while waiting for a little one to decide if they want vanilla, chocolate, or strawberry ice cream. Sometimes I wonder if that’s how God looks at me, his little daughter who agonizes over each decision, who in the end will end up with a delicious waffle cone full of ice cream no matter what.
When I was thinking over the pros and cons and the practicality of the World Race as it fits into my life, I came up with almost every reason not to go. I need to get my life on track. I need to start making my five year plan. I just have to do this and that. The expectations of family and others began to weigh on my shoulders. And so, for a long long time I ignored the whispers of God and continued down my own path.
God had spoken but I wasn’t totally comfortable with what exactly I heard.
The WR was always a super fun thing for me to day dream about while I wasn’t paying attention in Psychology 101 but it was a whole other enchilada to actually take a few steps of faith to pursue it.
I’ve asked and prayed and cried for more of God. I’ve been waiting and been impatient to hear him. What I think He’s saying to me right now is scaring me out of my socks. But here it is… right now, He is asking me to pursue the World Race.
So that’s what I’m doing one step at a time, trusting that God has a glorious plan for his creation. Trusting that whatever happens, I’ll still be his daughter and that His love won’t run short for me if I stay in Colorado or if I spend time wandering through his creation for 11 months.
The reasons for pursuing this adventure are actually only one. I want more of God. That’s it. I realize it sounds selfish but I’ve learned that I’m completely useless. God working through me is truly the only way these hands have ever gotten anything done. I want more of him. I want to give God my hands to do what he wishes.
It’s simpler than I thought. Seek God, let him love you. So it’s not really about fitting God into my five year plan. Every plan I had has been wrecked anyway.
So this life is now yours God, use it up however you choose.
