The Scariest Night of My Life

On an overnight train to Serbia, about three hours after writing a blog about my hopes and dreams for month 7 (below), my team and I were cruising through the Serbian countryside sound asleep. We were traveling in a private sleeper car, which was nice and cozy but extremely hot. We kept the window cracked to allow for some cool air. Our train made frequent stops at stations along the way, and the first few hours were very smooth. The border crossing was probably the easiest one yet.

At 2am, by the grace of God, I woke up just in time to see a man climbing in our window, the top half of his body already inside, mere inches from my face. I screamed the most horrifying bloody murder scream you can imagine. The man turned to look at me and then jumped out of our train just as my screams awoke my teammates and every other member on board. A train guard came to check on us, and I frantically explained that a man had just climbed in our window. The guard remained calm and closed our window. Needless to say that the rest of the night was sleepless.

When we met our contact the next morning, we apologized for being a little jumpy and on edge, and he immediately said, "Oh did y'all get mugged on the train?"

Apparently that train is known for those types of incidents, and it turns out most perpetrators actually use sleeping gas before robbing people, so we were very fortunate.

It's been days and I can still see his dark hair and black jacket when I close my eyes. While I'm grateful that nothing happened, I can't help but feel upset and afraid and somewhat betrayed by God. I know He protected our team and He used me to do that, but I'm still pretty shaken up by the whole thing and wish it never would have happened.

This was the way Serbia welcomed me. And as a result, my heart has been very closed off to this country and her people. I have had no desire to learn the language or make friends or really even leave my bed. I have been doing ministry, but I've basically just been going through the motions. And all of this right after I wrote the blog below.

……

We are on an overnight train on the way to Serbia, and I am laying in my sleeper car (thank you, Jesus!) and listening to my new Europe playlist on spotify. Who knew The Lord would use a Miley Cyrus song to speak to me…

"I came in like a wrecking ball."

A song I've heard hundreds of times… It's a bit of a U Squad anthem actually. But this time, I heard the song a little differently.

It's easy to grow complacent on the race. It's easy to enter month 7, know that you're over halfway through, and lose the passion and fire that once flowed so freely from within.

I want to look back on this month and be able to say that I came in like a wrecking ball. Not to say that I want to do damage, but I want to leave a mark. I want to put a dent in Serbia that will further the kingdom. I want the environment to be changed when we leave. I want the people we come in contact with to feel loved, heard, and appreciated. I want those we meet to feel differently because we allowed Christ to flow from us. I want to make a difference. And I believe my team has the passion and drive to make those things a reality.

Pray that we enter Serbia with hearts that are ready to love deeply, hands that are ready to serve energetically, and a force that can't be reckoned with. Pray that we continue having the desire to grow; that we won't be apathetic or lazy. And pray for God to do big things through us.

……

Please pray for me. I almost laugh reading the way I felt just hours before the incident. It's such a contrast from how I've felt since. Pray that I can release this and dive into this month with everything I have. Thank you!

These were taken in the beginning when we were giddy to be "camping" on a train, and feeling all Harry Potter like. (The black space behind my head is our lovely window.)