Ssssssoooooooo ……… I'm really good at building walls.
I build them when I get hurt, overly stressed or just don't want to deal with something (not a good idea.. I know). I built walls this summer. They were for protection – to help me keep sane, to keep me from loosing at work and just to keep on keeping on. The walls helped me function when everything was crazy.
But over the past 6 months I have kept these walls and now I am realizing these walls have lead to a slow paralysis of my life – to the point of becoming completely stagnant. To the outside world it probably isn't noticeable, I'm still able to go about my daily life – like work, chores, projects etc. But when it comes to to going anything where I actually have to engage and to give part of myself, I shut down and hide behind my walls.
I have allowed theses walls to consume and control me. I now find myself off kilter, passionless and empty. I've stopped growing in my faith and relationship with God. I now stand here and realize how much damage I have done to myself by simply not going anything.
Its time to break down the walls to stop hiding behind the walls and move on.
So first off need to apologize to everyone who has sent me money to support me on this trip. All of you have been an amazing blessing to me. I cannot explain how much it has touched me that all of you are willing to give your hard earned money to support me for 11 months to do Gods will, meet amazing people, do amazing things and just living out whatever God has planed for me. I tear up every time I think about all the support I've gotten. I want all of you to know how thankful I am. God has truly blessed me you all of your support. Also on that note I'm 1/3 of the way funded 🙂
And that's all I can muster for this post… but more will be coming – I've started a list 🙂
I hope this made some sense. Again I struggle with how much to share on this blog because its public so apologizes if I've been too vague.
