The calling.
As a little girl my seed was planted, my Mom taught my Sunday school classes and as I grew I developed a deep compassion for those hurting. The older I got, the more deep empathy grew within me. I’m sure most of you have that one story that your parents tell over and over and over again…. Well I’m no different. My mom likes to share the story of a little girl, age 4, sitting in her car seat driving down Pacific Coast Highway and asking if those who were drawing graffiti all over had Mothers…. and if so, didn’t they have any paper? At a young age I had a deep desire to help others and was passionate about what was right and what was wrong.
Somewhere along those years I lost that burning desire. High school happened and I fell away. More concerned with myself, I started allowing the graffiti in my heart of what Jesus did on the cross for me wash away and suddenly I was the one without paper. I became really self-involved and selfish. While I still had an incredible heart for those hurting, I didn’t act on it like I had done so at such a young age… I just went with the motions of life and only worried about myself. I was in a long term relationship and my boyfriend was a counterfeit God in my life…. Why did I need a God, when I had him….?
Well, I soon realized that answer when we broke up after five years of dating and I found myself completely broken and in need of something…. Someone bigger than myself….little did I realize it at that point, but breaking up and going through that heart ache would be a huge blessing in my life. Shortly after the split I moved down to Austin, Texas for a ‘fresh start’ and in hopes of self-discovery. I didn’t realize it then, but self-discovery meant discovery who I was because of what Jesus did on the cross for me. It didn’t take long to wholly surrender myself to the Lord and turn my life over to Him. I joined a church and rapidly rekindled that love I had as a little girl of how big my God was… I gave my life to Christ, again, but this time for keeps.
A fresh journey and a new lease on life, I was saved and I was O N – F I R E ! I became involved with the youth ministry at the Church I had been attending, but that was only a tool the Lord used to bring me to my calling… to bring me back to a 4 year old little girl… to the homeless, to the hurting, to the afflicted, the forgotten, the poor, the needy, the hopeless. I took the youth ministry to serve at a local ministry that provided outdoor Church services and a hot meal to the homeless community of Austin, Texas. That day was a defining moment in my life. I left in tears, blessed beyond words, and truly broken hearted for the folks I had spent the day with. As the week went on, I couldn’t shake that feeling, my heart hurt and I had a burning inside of me to become more involved….. that was several years ago….and I haven’t stopped going. Serving the homeless in Austin absolutely changed my life, and renewed my walk with God.
A few years in God began speaking to me about Detroit…. I thought sure, I would go back to Detroit, spend some time with an awesome Ministry I had heard about that served the less fortunate, but then planned to return to fabulous Austin, Texas and keep on keepin on….. wrong. Not only was I going to spend much more time with the ministry in Detroit, but I wasn’t going to be returning to the fabulous Austin, Texas. God had a different plan, and I was obedient. So, I moved back to Detroit, and it has been a huge blessing. I became involved with the ministry Elevate Detroit and the heart of it just made my blood pump with excitement (check them out, elevatedetroit.com). Serving there every Saturday and the hundreds of other opportunities God gave me just made my walk that much stronger.
I developed a heart for missions. I wanted to get out in the world, wherever God wanted, but I knew I had a heart for Him and I couldn’t keep quiet about it. So I began searching for mission trip opportunities. Costa Rica spoke to me, India spoke to me, but nothing dwelled in my heart quite like the 11 month trip that caught my eye on google. I was only looking for a two week getaway, not 11 months… But I couldn’t get past it. 11 months serving and pouring in to God’s people, all over the world, sharing His love….. I was apprehensive, but called.
I was comfortable. Content in this new life here in Detroit. I loved my mission field, the people down in Detroit. I developed amazing life changing relationships with my new Church, with local youth, with shelters, with the lost……why would I be called to leave all of that behind?
B e c a u s e G o d d o e s n t w a n t y o u t o b e a c o m f o r t a b l e F o l l o w e r.
I was comfortable. Serving every Saturday, Church twice on Sundays, Small group on Tuesday, Church Wednesday… keeping this burning desire to bring the lost to their Savior was there but I wasn’t acting on it in the way God intended for me to….. I wanted more I was ready for more I just needed to accept the opportunity He laid before me…. The World Race 2011.
So. After a ton of prayer, and really needing a clear calling, I applied and put it in His hands. If He wanted to send me, I would go. After being accepted, I took a week to earnestly pray before accepting my acceptance. I wanted to be sure it was God calling, and not Lindsey calling. So like other times in my life, insert defining moment here. I was sitting at work, one week after being accepted and it was “One day without shoes” by TOMs (a movement to bring awareness of the millions of people shoeless in our world). I was praying to God about those without shoes, and praying for all who heard about this movement, for their hearts that they would be broken and called to help this ministry. Then I felt convicted, “what was I doing to help that prayer”?? A wise man (my Pastor, Dan Kopp) once said “Never pray a prayer you are not willing to be the answer to”….and man was he right! God started stirring in my heart “when will I be the change I want to see” “how much longer am I going to be content”…. So dangerously I kept praying and I had a total revelation.
How many more people are going to die from AIDs before they know that they have a God who is bigger than that? A God who heals, who works miracles, who saves. How many more children are going to live and not know that they are unconditionally loved by a God who sent His one and only Son to die on the cross for them? How many more children were not going to hear about His goodness and mercy, about His love and redemption, about His safety and how big His arms are to hold them? How many more teenage girls were going to be sex trafficked and forced into prostitution before someone looked them in the eyes and told them they did not have to live that way and they could be HEALED and SAVED from that life style? How many more people were going to walk His earth and not know in their hearts His love for them?? Never pray a prayer you are not willing to be the answer to……. I’m ready to be used as an answer. Alone I cannot do it, but together with the favor or the Lord, we can. I’m ready to surrender myself, wholly to Him and give my life to Him to use for whatever it takes to further His kingdom and make His will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. I’m ready. I’m ready for my heart to be broken for what breaks His. I want to know what it is like to live in poverty, to not have a guaranteed meal, to walk without shoes. I want to be a light in a dark world and I know this is God’s purpose for me, He created me to have this heart, this compassion, this empathy, this love, and I will worship Him throughout it all, in every circumstance.
So, 11 months on the field won’t heal everything I listed above, it won’t be the solution to every problem, but if ONE, just O N E soul comes to know Christ through me on this journey then every s i n g l e sacrifice for this race was 110% worth it to me. It’s all about the King of Kings, the one who brought me out of death and gave me life, the keeper of my heart and the Lord of all…… it’s His glory, His will, His plan………… it was never mine to begin with.
