On this day, four years ago…
I was hanging out with several girls from middle school small group that I co-led. We were at a Christmas Tea hosted by the church I was attending. At this point, I was still working in Television, and considering the World Race, but also considering a couple of other options. I had no idea what God had in store for the next chapter my life, but here is what I did know: I hated my job. I hated the long hours and the meaningless tasks. And that the highlight of each week was Sunday, when I got to lead this small group of hilarious & dramatic middle schoolers.
On this day, three years ago…
I had just made it to Vietnam, the six month of my World Race. But my mind was on Cambodia, the previous month. Not many people know this, but 3 years ago I was seriously praying about one day returning to Cambodia. Cambodia ended up being one of my favorite months of my world race. I loved the ministry, I loved the country, and I loved how much I grew that month in my relationship with God that month. If it hadn’t been for Jodi, I may have in Cambodia today, instead of working stateside for SCH.
On this day, two years ago…
I was finishing up my time in CGA and praying about going to India for a few weeks. I didn’t really know, even then, why I really wanted to go back to SCH. But I just felt drawn to go. And well, you all know what happened. I ended up going to SCH, and taking a stateside job with them.
On this day, one year ago…
My life was a lot like it is now, except last year, I wasn’t thinking, “What’s next?’
You see, my time commitment to SCH ends in a few months. When I took the job, I committed to two years. Why? Because I always knew that I could only bring SCH so far. That I was just meant to bring structure, a “skeleton”, but that someone else was meant to bring it further, “put the flesh on it”.
But I am terrified right now. The end of this chapter is in site, but it is totally out of focus. I have no idea who will take over for me when I finish, and I have no idea what I will do next. But reflecting on these last four year has helped. Four years ago, I was 2 weeks away from applying for the race and less than 4 weeks from saying yes to the World Race. Three years ago, I was 4 weeks away from saying yes to returning to India right after my race. Two years ago, I was 5 weeks away from being in India, and saying yes to my job.
So if the past four years have taught me anything, it is that God is faithful and He has a plan. Which I am glad He reminded me of that this morning, this last night I had a total breakdown.
God knows what I am going to do, even when I don’t. So Abba, I trust you. Whether it takes another 3 weeks, 5 weeks, or even a couple of months to figure out how this chapter will end, and the next will begin, I choose to trust You, and You Alone.
