A lot of my friends and family have heard the story about me and Jodi… but not many have heard it like this:
Often these types of stories start, “I went to help someone else, but I never expected God to help me even more.” But that isn’t my story.
When I left for India on May 30th, 2012, I knew I wasn’t just going to teach a little girl to walk. I knew the work God was going to do in me was infinitely greater than anything I could do for this little girl.
I met Jodi, a 3-year-old girl with a developmental delay, on my first day of ministry on the World Race, an 11-month missions trip to 11 different countries.
It wasn’t a “God broke my heart at first sight” moment though. Instead, it was that second glance at this precious little girl, standing quietly in her crib, staring out at the world around her, which captured my heart.
She quietly watched as each of my teammates gravitated toward other children and began giving them nicknames. Even I had another child in my lap. But after an hour in that room, I looked at Jodi again and saw a girl who was overlooked and unseen. I made a comment about it, but no one seemed to hear or care.
So I picked her up. And my life was forever changed.
Almost 11 months after that first encounter, I was sitting in a church in Latvia, only days away from going back from India, when I very clearly felt God telling me, “You are Jodi.”
I didn’t even have to answer Him with a “What?” because I immediately knew it to be true. Parts of Jodi’s story paralleled my own life. Am I an orphan? Physically, I am not. But too often I act like a spiritual orphan. Am I developmentally delayed? No, I am not. But sometimes I feel as though I am spiritually delayed.
Four days after that revelation, I was back with Jodi, and there was a stark difference between my first visit and my second.
The first time around, Jodi had been my saving grace. When the smells and helpless children overwhelmed me, I would run to Jodi, take her by the hand, and walk with her.
But even on that first day of my second visit, I knew Jodi was going to be my biggest challenge of the month. And it was because I saw so much of myself in her. But God knew this and would use it for so much good.
I vividly remember sitting in the small, hot therapy room. I was sitting on the floor, my hands holding Jodi’s feet down, my head pressed against her back. And Jodi was bawling.
I was doing this particular exercise with her to work on the position of her feet. Whenever Jodi was standing, she had to hold onto something because she would stand with her feet and hips facing outwards. I was trying to correct her standing position but she was putting up such a fight.
I heard Jodi cry more in that first day than the entire three weeks I had been at the orphanage during my first trip. And I’ll admit, by the end of that day, I was crying too.
Sitting there, completely frustrated, tears rolling down my face, I told Jodi (despite the fact that she couldn’t understand me), “Jodi, I know this hurts, but don’t you know it is good for you? Yes, the stretching is causing you pain, but correcting your stance will help you not only stand but help you walk. Please, Jodi, don’t fight me on this. It is good for you.”
And in my heart, I felt my Heavenly Father say, “Daughter, I know you feel stretched at times. I know that you feel pain. And you beg me to take it away. But that’s just me allowing you to be stretched. I desperately want you to grow. I am molding your character. Please, daughter, don’t fight me because I have greater plans for you. Trust me.”
And for the next 28 days, I told things to Jodi and God told those same things to me.
With each day came a new lesson from God. On day 17, I let go of Jodi’s hand and she took several steps on her own. And on day 29 (my last day), Jodi chose to walk.
She let her hands go from the table and walked across the courtyard toward some of the other children. No one had to get her started. No one beckoned her to come. She made the decision to walk because she had somewhere she wanted to go.
God always has more for us. He is desperate for us to grow. And it wasn’t until I had that same desperation for a little girl that I understood why we experience pain. It wasn’t until Jodi that I truly understood this verse:
“Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.”
I had once tired of hearing the word “perseverance” because all I wanted was the promise that comes at the end. But my time with Jodi reminded me that God is molding my character to be worthy of that promise.
I now own a ring with one word inscribed on it. When I look at it, it reminds me of Jodi and all that happened with her and because of her. The word is the nickname my teammates gave Jodi after I took Jodi out of her crib and they saw how close she was to walking. The word is Hope.
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