On May 29th, 2013, I hugged my squad goodbye. They boarded a plane to the states, and I hopped on a plane back to India. Back to where it all began.
Flashback to July 10th 2012: My squad separated ways for our first month of ministry. Most people went to go evangelize and pray in villages, but my team and one other team stayed in the town to work at Sarah's Covenant Home, an orphanage for special needs kids. Before that first day, I admitted to my team that I was nervous. I hate germs and bad smells, and I had always felt uncomfortable working with certain types of special needs children because I felt so bad for their state of helplessness. My team encouraged me and prayed over me, and then we headed to the orphanage. As expected, it was overwhelming. But overtime, I began to rely more and more on God's strength rather than my own. I began to build relationships the Ayahs (caregivers), hold babies with sores on their heads, and let kids slobber a little while they sat in my lap or near me. But I was still a little reserved and I went through bottles of hand sanitizer. Through out the month, my favorite part of the orphanage became Jodi, a just turned 3 year old who couldn't yet walk or talk, but had an infectious giggle and loved to be out of her crib. When everything else got be to much, I would hold Jodi's hands and walk her around the home.
That first month was definitely a struggle, so imagine my surprise when I found myself the next month asking God if I could one day go back to SCH to work with Jodi. Now flash forward to May 29th, 2013 again. God had said yes to my prayer and I was going back. I was scared but excited. Going back to India wasn't just about loving Jodi, her peers, and the Ayahs, but God was also telling me that He had more He wanted to teach me.
Now flash forward to today. Today was my first full day back at SCH. It is a really unique experience, getting to be back at my first ministry. It is a way for me to see tangible ways that The Lord has changed me over the past year. I picked up and loved on the kids that slobber and drooled. I let one of the constantly kiss my hand and rub her head against mine (did I mention lice?). I used hand sanitizer only when necessary. I sat with kids who had sores. I coddled the ones who smelled. There was a noticeable difference between this time and last time, and it was completely God. Another cool part about today was getting to see the Ayahs again. A lot of them remembered me and I was able to share with them about the last year. And I was able to tell Parvathi (the first woman that I blogged about) that over 150 now know her testimony, including a Muslim woman in Tanzania.
The biggest struggle of the day believe it or not was Jodi. Don't get me wrong, I love being back with her, tickling her and playing with her. But the physical therapy and special education stuff is tough. I have absolutely no background in either area, and even with help of the other volunteers (who are a special education teacher and a physical therapist), I still felt totally lost. While Jodi is doing well in some areas, she is still really far behind. After talking with the physical therapist, it was decided that a huge reason that Jodi isn't walking yet is because her feet like to point outward and that sets her legs and hips outwards as well. So today, I started doing stretches with Jodi and she hated them! I think I heard her cry more today than she did the entire month I was here last time. But In that moment, God already began teaching me something. As I told Jodi "I know this is painful but it's good for you Jodi. If we don't correct your legs, you will never walk", I heard God whispering something similar to me: "Lindsey, I know you have gone through some painful moments and I know you have tired of the word 'perseverance' because it requires extra effort when you are ready to give up, but those moments are good for you. Without them, you'll never now how to fully walk in the identity I have given. I know it's tough, but keep going, it's worth it. I am worth it."
I know this month won't be easy. This is my 12th month being away from home. I am tired and worn out. But God is stretching me. He is molding me back into who he created me to be. It hurts, but I want to walk, no, I want to run. I want to run as the daughter of the king. I want to run fully as the girl He created me to be.
