Yup. You read that right. Confused??? Then read on.
Team Earth Like Heaven (My team) and Team Relentless had the opportunity to go bungee jumping on our day off from ministry. Before this adventure, I started asking my teammates if they had ever done anything so extreme before. It turns out none of us ever had. So why was there such a great desire to go bungee jumping? Why did we all desire to something so crazy and so different from anything we had ever done before?
(Here it comes… the thing ever racer does if they go bungee jumping… they write an analogy about how bungee jump relates to their relationship with God. But here me out.)
The world asks Christians the same thing. We live in a world that tells us to live for our fleshly desires. It tells that we should put ourselves first. It tells us that we are important and deserve honor. It tells us that we need to have control over everything. And yet, Christians desire something completely different. Christians want the crazy thing. To put God first. To humble themselves to give glory to God. To love God above all else, and to love others the way God loves them. To hand control of their lives over to God. When you really think about, true Christian living sounds absolutely absurd. Even more absurd then jumping off a 525 ft bridge with a cord attached to your mid section and ankles.
The idea of control struck me. I find it strange that despite being apart of culture that clings to the need to control things, people would place their lives in the hands of strangers and a sturdy rope just to have a thrill. So it must be more than just a thrill.
What if, deep down, humans didn't want to be in control of their own lives? What if they desired true freedom? (Before you get confused again, keep reading) I am talking about a different type of freedom. I think humans desire a freedom from worry and fear. I think they desire to out their trust in something greater.
A Bungee jumper experiences a type of freedom that not many others get to experience. And that freedom doesn't come from himself or herself. In those couple of seconds of free falling, the bungee jumper has no worries. He or she doesn't need to worry about the rope snapping because it is sturdy. The bungee jumper doesn't need to worry about the rope working properly, because someone more knowledgeable is in control of the rope. All the jumper has to do is take that initial jump and just fall. And speaking from experience, the fall is incredible. You feel incredibly light. You almost feel as if you could fly. And there is something else so incredible about it, but my words can't describe it.
So here I am in the bungee jump of life. God has pulled me from that slimy pit of sin. And I am sitting on the bridge, waiting to jump FULLY into the freedom He has called me to. So what I am I waiting for? Honestly, I have no idea.
And that is why I am asking to be scared. While sitting on the bridge, I had no emotion. And I think it was because my brain had decided to not yet comprehend what I was about to do (aka jump off a bridge). I think my brain was trying to protect me from fear. But as soon as I stepped out on the ledge, my brain couldn't ignore it any longer. Standing with my feet halfway over the edge, staring down at the ground that was 525 ft below me, I was absolutely terrified. So terrified that I closed my eyes. But I still jumped.
In my walk, I am sitting on the bridge. My heart wants to walk FULLY into God's freedom, but my brain thinks there are reasons to be fearful. Old wounds and hurts make my brain guarded, and thus it has shutdown. It will not let me comprehend what fully walking into freedom looks like for my life.
And so it is my prayer that God takes me to that ledge and has me look over. Because it is in that moment that the possibility for full freedom will finally become real. I will finally see what it really looks like. It will frighten me, because it will look new and it will require me to leave my comfort zone. But, in that moment, God will whisper His promises to me. I will feel the fear, but I will know that the reward will be much greater. And despite my fear, I will take that step off the ledge, and into freedom.
And it will be crazy awesome.
