Most single ladies of my age enjoy dreaming of the day they wear their white dress. I, on the other hand, have spent most of my dreams on the first day I wear my white coat.
Anyone who knows me knows that I have dreamed of becoming a doctor one day – and with that, a doctor to the nations as a medical missionary. Since 3rd grade, I have been on this pursuit, never wavering from this direction, always with my focus set on this future. I’ve dreamed of the many people and places I can possibly impact for the kingdom as a medical missionary. And so far, it’s been exciting to experience the Lord lay out this path for me – opening the right doors at every step.
But then, somewhere in the time I spent in Africa, the Lord began to stir convictions in my heart about how I regarded my future. My mind danced with thoughts and dreams of ministry, but I had forgotten to dwell in the One who is my source and strength of ministry. I realized that so much of my time was spent on thoughts of the future and ministry, ‘the things I want to do for God,’ and so little of my time was spent simply being with Him.
One of my favorite lyrics by Lecrae from his track, “Background,” convicts me hard in this – “And it’s a shame the way I want to do these things for you, yea. Don’t even cling to you, take time to sit and glean from you.” Ouch. My Father just wants me to be with Him, to glean from Him, yet my attention is spent elsewhere. And though I’m not yet a parent, I can imagine how a father must desire the presence of his daughter – to remind her how deeply he loves her, how much he fights for her, how much he values her. He pines for her attention, but her heart and mind are distracted, perhaps even with her father’s work, but her attention is far from him.
In response to all of this, a friend in South Africa told me to ‘stop watering the fruit and start watering the tree.’ He went on to explain how Christians often spend a lot of time and energy focusing on the fruits of our ministry, and not nearly enough time on the life sustaining source – the tree, our relationship with God. We get so wrapped up in the tangible aspects of our walk – our gifts, ministerial titles, church projects, quantifiable results of our ministry efforts, etc. These aspects are the most obvious reflections of our faith – to ourselves and others. But directing our focus toward these aspects is nearly as useless as trying to water a tree through the peel of a fruit. No one above the age of 5 and in their right mind tries to do that! Everyone knows a tree is watered from the foundation, the roots, and then slowly works its way toward the fruit. The flow of sustenance is uni-directional.
John 15:4-5 says, “Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. ‘I am the vine, you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.'”
We cannot manage life in ministry without our source. Jesus literally says that apart from him, I can do nothing – all of my efforts in ministry would be utterly useless. To neglect the vine is to unintentionally neglect the fruit. But if I dedicate my time, energy and attention to the vine, my relationship with the Lord, then the fruits of ministry can’t help but flourish, naturally and abundantly!
I am, we are prone to trying to make fruit happen. Stop it. You’re never going to make fruit happen. I hope we realize Jesus never said ‘if you work really hard and dream real big, then you will bear much fruit.’ No! We simply don’t have the independent capacity to bear fruit. And now I am realizing how great a blessing this truly is. Instead of trying to make fruit, I can just lean into the Maker and let fruit happen.
a prayer-inspired drawing – intentionally abstaining from fruit, all efforts were spent on the tree!
