“At this I awoke and looked, and my sleep was pleasant to me.”
-Jeremiah 31:26
Ten days ago I sat in Swaziland and read this verse rather frustrated. I was frustrated because ever since I was a little girl I would have nightmares. Some of these dreams are quite disturbing, some of them weird, but most all of them are, simply put, unpleasant.
This was also the month where I would hear about my squad mates’ prophetic dreams and visions left and right. I read what Jeremiah had to say about his dreams and visions and how his “sleep was pleasant” and I couldn’t help but feel a little jealous. So I grabbed my pen and marked the date next to the verse in my Bible and asked God to redeem my dreams.
At that point I was dreaming big, pun intended. I didn’t just want my bad dreams to go away, I wanted Him to replace them with life-giving visions, something worth talking about. I wanted something that would make me think back on my dreams and say, “my sleep was pleasant to me” like Jeremiah did.
Fast forward ten days and ten nights, I have a dream worth talking about.
Jesus and me were on our way to the Laundromat. We were walking along the sidewalk carrying on a casual conversation, as friends do, but I was carrying my heaping pile of stinky, dirty laundry. He was patient with me as I shamefully carried it. In between our conversation He would kindly insist that I give it to Him, but I was too embarrassed by my huge load of dirty clothes. He would reassure me that He didn’t mind, but I was not about to inconvenience Him. So on we went.
Once we got to the Laundromat, I threw my clothes in the wash and we continued on with our casual conversation. He kept me company throughout the process and as we left He caught me off guard when He said “Don’t worry, I already paid for it” with a smile. He accompanied me as we walked the familiar sidewalks and He again insisted that He carry my clothes, now clean. I still declined His offer because there was so much in my pile. Though clean, it was still heavy. He smiled at me with loving patience, calm as ever, just enjoying being in my presence even though I continued resisting His kind gestures.
At that point, my dream ended. When I woke up, I realized that God’s been revealing so much of Himself to me. Simultaneously He has been pointing out qualities within myself that need to change. I’m an extremely reflective individual and so this “laundry list” of things that need to change overwhelms me. He is not overwhelmed by the list, though. He’s patient with me and not in a hurry to give out quick fixes. He just wants to be with me and help me along the way.
It’s not in me or in my ability to carry my clothes, that’s not freedom. I don’t want Him to just pay for my clothes; I want Him to carry them too. I always want more freedom. If you’re like me and you want more freedom, let Him carry the clothes.
“Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”
Matthew 11:28-30
