Dear Reader,
Back at it again! When I said I’d give you a few days before I share the rest of what I learned in Swazi, I meant a few hours. Here is the second half of what I learned in Swazi, ready or not here I come with some God-given wisdom.
7. At the beginning of the month I decided that I wanted to study the word more intentionally so I asked God what He wanted me to read. He told me Jeremiah, so I started studying a few chapters a day. I’ve read pieces of the book before, but never the whole book in its entirety. I was excited to study it at first because most of the verses I was familiar with from the book are super encouraging.
Yeah, no. At first, the book is not encouraging. My teammate later informed me that Jeremiah was known as “the weeping prophet.”
Cool, God. Thanks for telling me to read something super depressing in a month with arguably the most mental struggles.
But there’s actually SO much that I’ve absorbed from Jeremiah, more to come on that, but here’s one of my favorites.
In my life, I’ve struggled a lot with fully trusting in the Lord and His goodness. I’m discovering roots of that and there will be plenty of future blogs with details on those topics. But basically it’s so easy for me to see His sovereignty and His justice, but it’s such a struggle for me to recognize His deep love and mercy. Until I read Jeremiah this month.
So far, here’s a super quick-cliffs notes synopsis of Jeremiah. Poor guy kept hearing from the Lord of the people’s wickedness. How they worshipped false gods and even the “prophets” were speaking false prophecies. Despite the rebelliousness of the people, the Lord kept saying “If they come to me with a repentant heart, I will take them in” (my paraphrase).
“The Lord said, “Have I not set you free for their good?”
Jeremiah 15:11
“Therefore thus says the Lord: If you return, I will restore you and you shall stand before me.”
Jeremiah 15:19
“Behold, like the clay in the potter’s hand, so are you in my hand, O house of Israel.”
Jeremiah 18:5
“But my people have forgotten me; they make offerings to false gods.”
Jeremiah 18:15
That last verse got me. When I read it, something clicked. I pictured the Lord speaking it to Jeremiah. How can His people forget Him after all of the patience He’s given and the love He’s promised? Maybe it’s just me, but that verse gets me emotional every time. Ya’ll He is so jealous for our love, it’s overwhelming. May we never get to a point in our faith journey where we forget Him.
8. Which brings me to my next discovery. Between Jeremiah and learning to live out my faith in Africa, I’ve also been reading “Crazy Love” by Francis Chan. If you’ve read the book, you can imagine my personal/mental inner turmoil that I’ve willingly put myself through this past month. No clue what I was thinking in reading that book, if I’m honest, but I’m glad I did. Lots of food for thought.
ANYWAY, I have learned a lot between the combinations of the book, life in Swazi and Jesus Himself so I’m about to drop it like it’s hot, get ready.
Disclaimer* If you are looking for a feel-good post, this does not fall into that category. This may very well be the most convicting post I write. It’s necessary though. I, at (many) times have fallen into the habits of the characteristics I am about to describe. Maybe you have too. Maybe you’re currently struggling with the characteristics I am about to describe. If so, I cannot apologize for my harshness because I’ve found that harsh words and loving truth often go hand in hand. Therefore, this is written out of love.
I have come across repulsive, hypocritical characteristics of churchgoers in the past. I was once this person too. I can honestly say that I have dealt with my shame and have forgiven those people in the past, but I feel obligated to expose these characteristics out of deep conviction within myself, and a deep longing for the church to turn from its hypocritical tendencies and follow Christ whole-heartedly as the bride He’s coming back for. I’ve seen too many people give up on the church and even leave Jesus Himself to keep quiet.
“It is not scientific doubt, not atheism, not pantheism, not agnosticism, that in our day and in this land is likely to quench the light of the gospel.
It is a proud, sensuous, selfish, luxurious, church-going, hollow-hearted prosperity.”
-Frederic D. Huntington
The world is waiting for you and I to hear the truth. Literally, that’s why we exist. But unfortunately this doesn’t just include “non-believers” hearing the truth. This includes the people in the church who are going through the motions too. God loves us all, but some of us are causing Him heartache. Jesus asks for everything and we are incapable of pleasing Him unless we’re ALL in. No one is completely immune to sin, but if we’ve been radically transformed, we’re are called to live it out. We are called to set-apartness. We have to show others the love He has shown us. People should see that we’re different. If we blend in, we haven’t been radically transformed yet. I’ve heard it said before 1% of nonbelievers will read the Bible but 99% will read the Christian. With that said, stay close to Jesus and follow your convictions diligently. Your life isn’t for you.
“Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn’t do it, sins.”
James 4:17
And this one is for all the church leaders out there. We cannot lead out of bitterness. We can’t lead out of the desire for ministry; it HAS to be out of a desire for intimacy with the Lord. That’s where true, healthy ministry flows from. There’s only one profession that gets paid for “intimacy” and that’s prostitution. So if you are a church leader and only going to God for other people, you’ve got it backwards. We cannot seek God solely for ministry. Intimacy has to come first, and then the ministry will flow from it.
“If you read history you will find that the Christians who did most for the present world were precisely those who thought most of the next. It is since Christians have largely ceased to think of the Other World that they have become so ineffective in this.”
C.S. Lewis
“Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.”
Colossians 3:2
All that is tough to swallow, but dang it’s good.
9. So on the race we do this thing called ATL. “Ask The Lord.” In between ministry days and maintenance days we have “ATL” days. What this looks like is literally asking the Lord what He wants us to do, where He wants us to go, who He wants us to meet, what He wants us to speak, all that jazz. It’s pretty dope. (Ps I say “dope” way too often and I just recently made the correlation with its reference to drugs. *eyroll emoji* I need to lay it down.)
With ATL we have some pretty cool stories. For me, one of my most exciting moments was on a Thursday when our team gathered at the playground to pray through what God wanted our team to do that day. So I prayed “God, what’s up for the day?” and took a minute or two to listen to what He had to say. Not much revelation. I continued “Why is it so easy for me to hear You when we’re talking about me, but when I’m asking You what You have for other’s sake, it’s such a struggle?” So I changed my question to “Who needs You today?” I saw three places. The Jericho house across the street (this was a church community who practiced witchcraft, more on that to come), the train tracks down the street, and the restaurant, Nisela, which we were frequents of. When I saw these images in my mind I got frustrated and thought “literally everyone needs You, that was a dumb question.”
But it wasn’t. When my team came together to discuss what we heard from the Lord, we were all on the same page. A few had visions of the Jericho house, a few had seen the train tracks, and some heard God tell them to go to Nisela.
That day we prayed with nine people, each at a different location from the three places God showed me. Three girls heard God’s voice for the first time, three women were encouraged and invited to the women’s retreat we were hosting the next day, two men received prayer for future job opportunities and we encouraged them to practice listening prayer and our favorite waiter at Nisela opened up about his testimony to us and received prayer for inner healing. Needless to say, it was a successful ATL day, then again every ATL day is. *wink emoji*
10. The Jericho house, let’s talk about it. Across the street from our AIM base is a house with about 10 flags surrounding the perimeter of the property. They have a couple of different small buildings on their property and every time we passed it on our way to ministry, people could feel a change in the atmosphere. Some of the people from our squad went over to the Jericho house throughout the day to help with chores and build relationships with them. The more we learned about this place, the darker it got. Basically in their church they have a rock in the center. We found out that they believe in some weird stuff; for instance they believe the Holy Spirit lives on their backs and if anyone pats them or touches them on their back they believe the spirit is disturbed. They also believe that deep-sea animals can heal them and they will pay money to visit them in the ocean. Lots of witchcraft. But the most interesting thing is that they turn to this rock in the center of their church for power.
Some of the leaders from our squad had visions previous to Swaziland. One of the leaders shared that she heard the Lord say that God would use us to lead people out of witchcraft. Another leader had a dream that one of the women that live in the Jericho house took a hammer to the rock and broke it. They shared this with the squad one evening and we all stepped in to cover our friends from the Jericho house in prayer.
The next day, in my study in Jeremiah I read:
“Let the prophet who has a dream tell the dream, but let him who has my word speak my word faithfully. Is not my word like fire, declares the Lord, and like a hammer that breaks the rock in pieces?”
Jeremiah 23: 28-29
Jesus ain’t no joke ya’ll. I can’t wait to hear about the woman who smashes that rock into pieces.
11. Last but not least, I’ve learned about my purpose. Not so much the details as to what I will do post-race, but just living out my calling in the here and now. Being present.
My squad leader Molly Fae has a lot of rad things to say on the topic, so here’s the part where I pretty much quote her whole session.
We can’t be a people who live out of fear of failure. Don’t let the unknown stand in the way of living out your purpose. It’s our job to steward our purpose well, it’s a choice. We can’t wallow in our doubt; we have to be a people of action. Don’t shy away from your calling because it’s “too shiny” at the time. Trust Him, He is the best steward of the things He gives us.
They do not fear bad news; they confidently trust the LORD to care for them.
Psalm 112:7
God’s purpose isn’t an interruption, it’s an opportunity. So chase after Him, not the promise.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Marianne Williamson
Lots of good, hard, loving truths. Needless to say Swazi was a tough pill to swallow but I’d choose it every time because it’s refined me in a way I’ve never experienced. His words are my favorite comfort foods and His will is my favorite path. Reader, my prayer is that you find your Swazi and experience the same and even greater.
Love always,
Linds
