T H E T R I P O F A L I F E T I M E
I did something crazy last weekend. I drove myself to Knoxville, Tennessee. Literally myself, Jesus and Siri. I was in good company. I bought my Amanda Cook – Brave New World ticket a couple months ago and just when I thought my plans were falling apart, God was actually piecing them together. This is a blog of my trip, but more than that it’s of God’s goodness. I have intertwined pieces of Amanda’s setlist lyrics, go give her a listen. She’s wonderful.
13 hours solo. When I was planning the trip, I expected to hit walls. I expected frustrations and distractions, but because His hand was upon it, it was all good. The trip blew my failed expectations way out of the water.
“Once we were a barren land
Dry from disappointment
But Heaven like a heavy rain
Revealed Your heart for us”
| City of Hope |
I had originally planned on going with some friends, but it ended up not working out for many reasons. But then I remember thinking to myself “maybe you could just go on the trip alone?” Of course I let fear sink in and in order to make my decision seem possible I sought out the opinions of others. Most came with a resounding “no.”
“You’re afraid, but you can hear adventure calling
There’s a rush of adrenaline to your bones
What you make of this moment changes everything”
| The Voyage |
It wasn’t until a very wise woman, who I adore, said “maybe God is closing all these doors because you’re not supposed to go on this trip.”
It was in that moment that I realized He was doing the opposite.
I have longed to get away. Not to run from things, but to run to Him. I feel like the closer I get to leaving for the race, the more time I have to spend making memories with friends and family. But I’ve also let this get in the way of time of solitude.
He wanted to get me alone. He knew my heart and all my distractions, so He put this dream in my heart and gave me the boldness to punch my fear in the face.
“Your love has ravished my heart, and
Taken me over, taken me over
And all I want is to be
With You forever, with You forever”
| Closer |
I will always be an advocate for doing things scared. He’s too great for me to let anything else overtake me.
“You will lift my head above the mighty waves
You are able to keep me from stumbling
And in my weakness You are the strength that comes from within
Good shepherd of my soul
Take my hand and lead me on”
| Good Shepherd |
I agree with everyone who told me “no.” My plans sounded crazy. But sometimes God calls us to do crazy things, but He never fails to show His goodness. When His strength is in us, He’s always certain of His chosen.
“Oh Love, great Love
Fear cannot be found in You
And there will never be a day
You’re uncertain of the ones you choose”
| Mercy |
So I decided to take it upon myself and have some sense of security in purchasing a rental car. I laugh because it’s as if God was like “Yes! Go!”
And I was like “Should I take my car?! I could save some money!”
And He was like “Lets not get too crazy.”
So I packed and headed out for my 13 hour solo journey. I prayed and worshipped and let His love wash over me. I enjoyed every moment of gazing at His goodness from the Midwest to the Southeast.
“You make me brave
You call me out beyond the shore into the waves”
| You make me Brave |
I was expecting to hit a wall and I never did. I arrived and was blessed by friends better than I could have imagined. I hiked 8 miles solo and saw waterfalls and forests that will forever be ingrained in my brain. I reminisced and reflected on life this past year. There have been tough moments and seasons when I doubted His goodness. I’ve always known His Sovereignty, but it has been a struggle for my soul, spirit and mind to praise Him on my dark days. But in this past year, especially, I have seen so much come full circle. I have seen darkness turn to light. I have seen His hand upon situations in ways I hadn’t experienced before.
“You turn the bitter into sweet…
the winter into spring…
you make all things new”
| Bitter/Sweet |
On my hike up it was rainy and overcast. I was alone in the forests of the mountains and it was perfect. I was on a bit of a time crunch, however because I had a 3 hour drive to Nashville for Amanda Cook’s tour. But I wanted to summit. So I kept moving forward, but I was still anxious and it’s like I could hear Him saying “Don’t look ahead, and don’t look behind you. Just keep your eyes on the trail in front of you.”
How applicable to life? Whether it be pain or excitement, if we focus our attention to anything outside of what He’s placed in front of us, we’re off course.
“You are, perfect in Your very nature
Yet you understand the human mind
Faithful even when I wander
You are patient, You are kind”
| Never see the end |
I summited. The whole way down was glorious. The sun came out and there was sunny rain. He knew my heart and all it wanted and it’s like when I planned out the trip with all my fears and doubts He said “Try me. I will blow your expectations out of the water. You think you know but you have no idea. You don’t know how good I get.”
“Your love is a fury all its own
Sweeping the dust and turning feet towards home
Carrying the orphans and resetting broken bones
Your love is a fury all its own”
| Kind |
T H E C O N C E R T
I stepped foot into Rocketown and waited to worship my Jesus with my favorite artist and fellow Nashville-ites.
She’s cool.
She opened with “You make me Brave”
I cried.
#duh
Then she had a few words for the audience. AKA me. But I can’t keep them all to myself so here you go:
“It’s not pity that moves God. It’s compassion. He’s good. He’s kind. It’s His nature. I’ve never seen punishment bring about transformation, it’s always kindness. He turns disappointments into dance floors.”
“Awake my soul to sing
With Your breath in me
I will worship
You taught my feet to dance upon disappointment
And I, I will worship”
| Heroes |
He is a holistic healer.
He weaves things together.
He restores.
He is good and He longs to please our heart. It’s what He loves to do.
She shared a post from her friend about prayer. (Chriscruz add him on insta, he’s cool.)
“Prayer is changing for many people. I’ve been pondering prayer as my son is a month old with no vocabulary and no ability to ask me anything. Yet, I am driven to care for him beyond his capacity to ask. His life isn’t reduced to his requests. I’ve determined my resources will take care of him. He isn’t at the mercy of whether he asked me the right way or asked me at all. This is the paradigm shift coming to our prayer life. God isn’t reducing His care for us to down to our requests. His provision isn’t locked behind our perfect prayers. His care is beyond our capacity to ask for it. His resources were working on our behalf before we could even make our request known. When we pray we join in with His benevolence towards us. When we pray it’s because He’s already listening and caring. If God looks like Jesus then we can trust He would die to take care of us before we would ever respond.” –Chris Cruz
I was free from distraction. I was standing in a venue; able to connect with my Maker after a full day of Him showering me with blessings of all the things my heart loves. It was the most engaged in worship I have ever been.
“Every ear will hear the story of Your furious love
Every eye will see the glory of the coming King
Every knee will bow, every tongue confess Your Name
And with the crowd I will lift my voice, I will lift my voice to sing”
| Highest Praises |
Then it happened. My moment. The moment Jesus had me travel over 1,000 miles for and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
“No more chasing shadows. You were made to burn brightly and live shining. You were made to store glory. Gone are the days when we hated our story. No regrets. Forget your ‘perfect offering.’ There’s a crack in everything. But that’s how the Light gets in. Open up, let the Light in.” –Amanda
“What a mystery
That you notice me
And in a crowd of ten thousand
You don’t miss a thing”
| You don’t miss a thing |
I read something that morning that has stuck with me. This past year has been a roller coaster of emotions and circumstances. I’ve had dark days, and I have definitely had my shining moments. But Jesus has been constant whether I felt Him or not. He has always been there whether I heard His voice or waited for Him to speak. He has always fought for me. He has always caught my tears and stored them up to remind me on days like this, to remind me of His goodness. Here’s the excerpt from “The Practice of the Presence of God:”
“Our only happiness should come from doing God’s will, whether it brings us some pain or great pleasure. After all, if we are truly devoted to doing God’s will, pain and pleasure won’t make any difference to us.” –Brother Lawrence
I long to burn bright and live shining in pain or in pleasure. I don’t want security to come from my circumstances; I want it to come from Him alone. He knew that. And He gave me a word 1,000 miles away from home and used my girl, Amanda, to be the voice. Because He’s cool like that.
I looked down and it wasn’t any coincidence that I wore my World Race shirt.
“Travel light. Live light. Spread the Light. Be the light.”
“Uncontrolled, uncontained
Your love is a fire
Burning bright for me
It’s not just a spark
It’s not just a flame
Your love is a light
That all the world will see
All the world will see”
| Pieces |
