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I am homesick.

I can’t believe it, but I am.

I am NOT the girl who lusts after the comforts of the States or wishes that where I am was somewhere else. Don’t get me wrong, whenever I travel I miss my family and friends immensely -but this time it’s different. Right now I miss them as if I’m never going to see them again. Of course I know that I will but this adventure has recently evolved from a “trip” to “normal life” which makes it easy to ask “what have I given up for this year and what have I given up for good”?

Christmas away from home makes everything harder. Israel is pretty much a Christmas-free zone and as much as we decorate and sing carols and tell stories, it’s just not the same without Dan, Mili, Carrie, Gma, Gpa, Rachel, Liisa, Colleen, Steve, Mugs and Lana and Bob. This year I’m not on that road trip from Seattle to snowy Montana with Mom, Dad and Cares and I’m not waking up at Gma’s to the smell of coffee and the sound of the slamming screen door (which every time it opens wafts in fresh, freezing cold air— love it). I won’t be sitting in Zion Lutheran Church this Christmas Eve, where I have been two less than all thirty Christmas’ of my life. And it’s ok. Because I followed Gods call and this is exactly where he wants me to be. And  because the word says “everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or fathers or mothers or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much…”( John 19:29). Although my family and my traditions CANNOT be replaced, God is true to his word and has brought me thirty-one sisters and eleven bothers to make this journey alongside and to share this unconventional Christmas with me!

My homesickness would be off the charts if it weren’t for these people; especially the eleven brothers and sisters I currently live under the same roof as: Weaves, Jen, Martha, Joel, Tim, Birkleigh, Nicole, Bethany, Bambi, Heather, Tres and Ralphie. It warms my heart to get up in the morning and have them around. They are my siblings and friends. They’re my family.  And I have to give a special shout out to Jen, Martha and Weaves who are with me day in and day out and to Higgs, Diana ans Denise who although we don’t see each other as much as we used to are instrumental to my emotional wellbeing.

 Jen is an incredibly genuine, WISE WISE WISE woman of God who offers me so much encouragement I don’t know how to receive it. Her knowledge of and passion for scripture is incredible and her heart for God’s work is off the charts. We have a lot in common (one a passion for photography) which allows us to just understand each other without explanation. This woman has a big call on her life yet she is totally humble and is the first to point out your giftings.  

Martha is pure JOY and positivity and enthusiasm. She inspires me on a daily basis with her huge heart for God and for animals and for people. Girl is always giving out compliments and encouragement: it’s her first language. The sound of her giggle alone is enough to turn the sky from gray to blue and she has the gift of faith–woah! Man, she walks with confidence in who God has created her to be and she brings out that confidence in everyone she’s around. It’s remarkable.  

Then there’s Weaves. What do I say about her?!!! She is my sister!  My BLOOD sister.  And my partner in crime. I laugh with her everyday about things no one else thinks are funny. She is compassion and mercy and joy and childlike faith and wonder and art and passion all rolled into one. She carries others burdens like they were her own. When I cry, she cries. She tells me I am beautiful every chance she gets. She is the only person I have ever seen who ACTUALLY stops to smell the roses when she walks past a bed of roses. When she walks in a room she brings fresh air and sunshine. There is no one like her. I don’t know what else to say about her accept that God makes no mistakes and he knew that we belonged together.

Diana-sauris is a woman after God’s heart! She has been growing like a tumble weed and every time I see her she is more like Christ. She always has a gift and an immensely thoughtful letter for me. She thinks about her sisters and prays for us more than I thought humanly possible. She gives out words of love and bear hugs like its going out of style. Rarely do I see her without someone in her embrace. I call her the Jesus Channel because she hears from God pretty much non-stop and if you ever want a special message about your life…just sit at her feet. It’s crazy.

Higgs. Oh Higgs. We bonded on this trip instantaneously.  She’s my fellow crier, my sister, my bosom buddy and my sound-board. There isn’t much I don’t bounce off of this blessed woman. We don’t see each other that often anymore but when we are together we are peas in a pod. We can talk for hours and hours and hours. She is wise FAR beyond her years and is so full of mercy that she overflows at all times. She is quick to pick me up when I get discouraged and is always ready with a candy bar when I need one! She is the #1 most generous person I have ever known and she pretty much never thinks about herself. She is always praying for people and buying them gifts and making them food and writing them letters and just being all around encouraging. Her heart is big enough to fit the whole world in it…which I think she might actually do someday. She loves God fiercely and boy does He love her! His plans for her are huge and unique without a doubt. I don’t know what I would do without her.
 
D-Nice. D money. D. Denise.
This woman of God is tenderhearted-intercessor, homeless feeder, orphan lover, burden barer extrordinaire! We met and fell in love at training camp then God  graciously heard my prayer and put us on the same team (with her husband Mike as leader- who I am also obsessed with). You will not find a purer heart than Denise. She is Jesus. I know I will get no-nonsense, loving wisdom when I bring something to her.  Patient , genuine and kind  Denise always sees to the soul of a person and strives for peace and harmony at all times. Denise has a vision and desire for love and justice that is fueled by her FIERCE passion to make a difference in the world. And without even knowing it she does make a difference…every day…just by being herself.  She is that woman who’d work for weeks straight in a Rowanden refugee camp hospital -facing the world at its ugliest- and not pause to think about her exaustion. Or who would walk straight into a brothel to rescue a prostitute who’s held there against her will. She’s a stud. My favorite thing about Denise though is that she is a dreamer! And she inspires me to be one too! She’s like a little girl with the world on a string. She looks at the stars and talks to God. She wants to wear prarie dresses and live on a blueberry farm. I know-she doesn’t sound real-but she is. And she’s my sister,  who the Lord knew I needed in my life!
 
So- Thank you brothers and sisters for being my family abroad when I’m missing so terribly my family at “home”.