I am homesick.
I can’t believe it, but I am.
I am NOT the girl who lusts after the comforts of the States or wishes that where I am was somewhere else. Don’t get me wrong, whenever I travel I miss my family and friends immensely -but this time it’s different. Right now I miss them as if I’m never going to see them again. Of course I know that I will but this adventure has recently evolved from a “trip” to “normal life” which makes it easy to ask “what have I given up for this year and what have I given up for good”?
Christmas away from home makes everything harder. Israel is pretty much a Christmas-free zone and as much as we decorate and sing carols and tell stories, it’s just not the same without Dan, Mili, Carrie, Gma, Gpa, Rachel, Liisa, Colleen, Steve, Mugs and Lana and Bob. This year I’m not on that road trip from Seattle to snowy Montana with Mom, Dad and Cares and I’m not waking up at Gma’s to the smell of coffee and the sound of the slamming screen door (which every time it opens wafts in fresh, freezing cold air— love it). I won’t be sitting in Zion Lutheran Church this Christmas Eve, where I have been two less than all thirty Christmas’ of my life. And it’s ok. Because I followed Gods call and this is exactly where he wants me to be. And because the word says “everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or fathers or mothers or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much…”( John 19:29). Although my family and my traditions CANNOT be replaced, God is true to his word and has brought me thirty-one sisters and eleven bothers to make this journey alongside and to share this unconventional Christmas with me!
My homesickness would be off the charts if it weren’t for these people; especially the eleven brothers and sisters I currently live under the same roof as: Weaves, Jen, Martha, Joel, Tim, Birkleigh, Nicole, Bethany, Bambi, Heather, Tres and Ralphie. It warms my heart to get up in the morning and have them around. They are my siblings and friends. They’re my family. And I have to give a special shout out to Jen, Martha and Weaves who are with me day in and day out and to Higgs, Diana ans Denise who although we don’t see each other as much as we used to are instrumental to my emotional wellbeing.
Jen is an incredibly genuine, WISE WISE WISE woman of God who offers me so much encouragement I don’t know how to receive it. Her knowledge of and passion for scripture is incredible and her heart for God’s work is off the charts. We have a lot in common (one a passion for photography) which allows us to just understand each other without explanation. This woman has a big call on her life yet she is totally humble and is the first to point out your giftings.
Martha is pure JOY and positivity and enthusiasm. She inspires me on a daily basis with her huge heart for God and for animals and for people. Girl is always giving out compliments and encouragement: it’s her first language. The sound of her giggle alone is enough to turn the sky from gray to blue and she has the gift of faith–woah! Man, she walks with confidence in who God has created her to be and she brings out that confidence in everyone she’s around. It’s remarkable.
Then there’s Weaves. What do I say about her?!!! She is my sister! My BLOOD sister. And my partner in crime. I laugh with her everyday about things no one else thinks are funny. She is compassion and mercy and joy and childlike faith and wonder and art and passion all rolled into one. She carries others burdens like they were her own. When I cry, she cries. She tells me I am beautiful every chance she gets. She is the only person I have ever seen who ACTUALLY stops to smell the roses when she walks past a bed of roses. When she walks in a room she brings fresh air and sunshine. There is no one like her. I don’t know what else to say about her accept that God makes no mistakes and he knew that we belonged together.
Diana-sauris is a woman after God’s heart! She has been growing like a tumble weed and every time I see her she is more like Christ. She always has a gift and an immensely thoughtful letter for me. She thinks about her sisters and prays for us more than I thought humanly possible. She gives out words of love and bear hugs like its going out of style. Rarely do I see her without someone in her embrace. I call her the Jesus Channel because she hears from God pretty much non-stop and if you ever want a special message about your life…just sit at her feet. It’s crazy.