In case you somehow missed my reminders for nearly 3 months (I get really excited), I celebrated my birthday in February. It’s crazy to me how quickly the day came and went, just as it does every year. Of course my friends made it special. And it was unique simply because I celebrated in Romania. But what makes this year different from the rest is the fact that I actually feel my age, and I’m happy about it.
I have what some people refer to as an “old soul.” Not in the cool way of being drawn to vintage things or having an affinity for the classics. More like in the you’re-gonna-shoot-your-eye-out-why-can’t-you-kids-just-grow-up way. I’ve gotten “she’s mature beyond her years” for as long as I can remember. Don’t get me wrong; maturity is a good thing. But when it comes at the cost of ones childlike nature, it can rob life of its intended sense of wonder.
One of our squad’s coaches recently told me how most people come on the Race and grow in depth and wisdom. She then told me I was different. She looked me in the eyes and said “Lindsay, you already had wisdom. You’ve grown more childlike.” The funny thing is I would’ve cringed at those words a year ago. I used to pride myself on my serious nature, on attaining wisdom even without experience. I loved when people would try to guess my age and be shocked by how “young” I was. Though being the “responsible one” was often a burden, it was a burden I felt was mine to carry. I needed to be the voice of reason, the planner, the one with both feet planted firmly on the ground.
And now? Now being called childlike is one of the best compliments I could get. Now I choose spontaneity (yes, I know the irony in that statement). I try to say yes to fun, yes to randomness, yes to adventure. I dance in rice paddies or ride on a boat with Donald Duck in the middle of a Romanian city. I am learning to play the harmonica and only occasionally pull out my “mom voice” when things start to look a bit unsafe. I am learning that acting my age doesn’t have to be a bad thing. I am young. And I want to say that now and every year after this.
I now have more experience than even some 80 year olds. But I’ve learned wisdom and experience aren’t the only keys to maturity. Being mature means knowing when to let your hair down. It means recognizing you don’t always have to have the right answer or make sure every item is in order. It means taking yourself less seriously and being able to see the world with awe, like a child does.
My name is Lindsay Sherburn. Some people call me Sherbs. I am 24 years old. I am a child of God. And I think I’m finally beginning to understand what that means.
