With the Lenten season quickly approaching (March 5th is the first day), I’ve been contemplating if/how I should participate this year. Generally I give up something like sugar or Facebook, but I’ve been really asking God to show me the condition of my heart and “see if there is any offensive way in me.”
When I was accepted to the World Race, I made a commitment to not start any new dating relationships until my trip is over. At first, the thought made me want to chuckle; I figured I’d already been single for 23 years, what’s one or two more?
Then my humanity kicked in.
I believe it is part of the human condition to want what we can’t have, to long for those things that we’re supposed to abstain from. It’s the battle of our flesh, the reason we need the Spirit in our lives.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I don’t believe dating is wrong, or that the desire to date is sinful. My problem is that I’m now in this part of my life where the last thing on my mind should be my romantic relationships with men, and yet that seems to be the exact thing my culture is pushing on me at this stage in my life.
I’ve noticed lately that I can hardly have a single conversation with someone my age without the topic of guy/girl relationships coming up. I’ll probably even have more views on this post than any other one simply because of the title! (Don’t feel bad; I’d read it just for the title too). We’re either married, engaged, dating, or vocally proclaiming the riches of singlehood. Sometimes I get a bit frustrated by it all…why does my relationship status have to define me? Is it because I’m a 23 year-old single Christian woman and culture says that it matters? Hollywood and the media fill our minds with ideas about romance and “true love”. Even Christian culture produces countless books and vlogs on the topic. Often I just want to be…well, a person. I’m an introvert, a bookworm, a fan of cucumbers and hummus. I’m a wanderer and more than just a little sarcastic. I’m a child of God. None of those things have to do with who I’m dating or not dating.
So, I’ve decided to give up romance for Lent. What does that mean exactly? It means that I’m going to do my best to stop filling my mind with Hollywood’s version of love. I’ll be focusing on the work God is doing in my life and preparing for this commitment I’ve made. It isn’t going to be easy; I watch Hallmark like it’s going off-air. But I believe this will give me a time to take a break from all the pressure, all the hype. I look forward to the day when I’ll meet a guy that I want to marry, if that day comes. But it’s going to happen on His time, not on what culture dictates, and not according to the daydream-esque ideas in my brain.
For now, I’ll be watching a whole lot of “bro-movies” (my second-favorite genre). I’ll be trading in T. Swift for, well, basically anything else. I’ll finally start reading LOTR and maybe get back to some Donald Miller. It won’t be perfect…I’ll be at the premiere of “Divergent” come rain or shine (I’m really in it for the love story, I admit it). But I believe the point of the season is to sacrifice something not-so-good in our lives in order to make room for a whole lotta God.
That’s the plan, Stan(s). If you’d like to join me in this, I’d love the accountability.
