I awaken early…
That is usual these days. I have past off any remaining signs of jetlag, but continually awaken earlier and earlier everyday no matter what time I go to bed. This morning it was at 3:21 that I awoke. A big jump from my usual 5am stirring. I got up went to the bathroom hoping that after i peed I could just fall back to sleep. Not the case at all. I laid there. As thoughts tumbled through my mind I closed my eyes and saw darkness. Not darkness like one normally finds at the shutting of their eyes, but the kind of darkness that takes your breath away and trys to rob your soul of any light that it has.
“Okay, Lord, I get it. I need to pray.”
Quickly, I pray against the darkness that surrounds me, this city, this nation, and the world. I arm myself in His armor, and then my roommates, my family, and the g-squad. I try to fall back asleep again, but i am quickly convicted of my lack of intimacy with the Lord since being back stateside.
You see my biggest thing I dealt with in processing my return to the US was dealing with all the changes that would have taken place in my 5 months away. I did not process everything staying the same. Los Angeles hasn’t changed. The same people still walk around with their false salvation, their lack of godly identity, and clothe themselves in idols of all varieties. My friends still have the same struggles, hopes, and dreams. It is still hard to make ends meet. This is something I did not plan for. With everything remaining so consistant, I find myself slipping back into “life before the race” and “Lindsay before the race”. This is the exact opposite of what I want. I had to name the spirits that surround this place and call them out and act out in the opposite spirit, just like I would when entering a new city/nation on the race. I have to claim kingdom over this place. If any place in American is in need of the Lord, Hollywood is it. It is my mission field. This is where the Lord has called me. Why? I don’t know. However, I am willing.
Please join me in prayer. In prayer not only over all nations, but also over our own. Often we look at the speck in our brother’s eye and ingore the plank in our own. I need your help. If there is anything that I have learned on the race it is that I can’t do it on my own. I need community. I need fellow believers and most importantly, I need God. This transistion back has been easy. That is what frightens me. Pray that I may speak out in boldness and truth. That I will not be ashamed of the gospel or what the Lord has shown me over the past 5 months. Stories need to be shared. God’s healing power needs to be shared. God’s love and redemption need to be shared. I have witnessed it all first hand. There is no better testimony for my friends and this city to hear.
I am a woman of God. I have a voice, and my name is Lindsay.
