Over the past few days it’s been an ongoing joke for me to come up with idioms and explain them to my new non-Americans friends. It’s pretty amusing… we got some big laughs trying to explain stuff like, that’s it in a nutshell, or laughing my head off, or he went the whole 9 yards… Well, as I was thinking about it later, I came up with another one – one that’s been on my heart very much the last few days.
Putting your heart on the line.
What does that mean, exactly? The definition might differ depending on who you ask, but here’s the way I see it: it means to completely open yourself up and allow someone into your life, unselfishly and unjudgingly. To pour into their life and give all you can without expecting anything back in return. To allow them to have a piece of your heart despite the fact that they’re human and could potentially disappoint you, leave you, or even hurt you…
I feel like that’s what I’ve been doing for the past 7 months. Upon leaving Togo I’ve been plagued with thoughts of things like “Why did I sign up for a trip where I have to say goodbye 11 times? Why do I bother building relationships with people when chances are I will never see them again? Why does God allow such amazing people in and out of my life so briefly?” . Well after stewing about it for quite some time, it hit me… That’s what being a Christian is all about. My relationship with the people that enter in and out of my life should be a reflection of my relationship with Christ. That is what He did for us… infact, He sacrificed His entire life for the sake of a people that consistantly fail him and let him down – over and over agin. And how does He react when we let Him down? He opens His arms and invites us right back in without even a second thought. It’s not even an issue! As Christians we are called to continuously put our hearts on the line for Him – whatever that may look like. For me, it’s been building relationships and friendships with the knowledge that I will be leaving – yet not letting that hold me back. It hurts, and I feel like every time I leave a place a little piece of my heart stays along back with it. But I also know that God has blessed me tremendously in my life, especially in the last 7 months. I wouldn’t trade anything for the things I have been able to see and the incredible people I have been able to meet.
There ya have it, short and sweet. Don’t really know what else to say, honestly. That’s what has been on my heart these last few days.
Miss you and love you all back home! 🙂
