My Testimony Continued…
Check out my previous blog, “Keiki Days.”
The point of sharing my testimony is for others to be inspired by my struggles and how God turned them into my strengths, which ultimately led me to this mission trip. I don’t think I’d be half the person I am today had I not gone through the rough patches. There are a lot of good times I could have added, but these are the clif notes of the life changing trials that promoted change and growth in my life- stagnant bliss did not. I’ve been avoiding writing this blog for months.
We’re supposed to confront those spaces of vulnerability we so neatly avoid, so here goes nothing!
I left off with our big move from Honolulu, Hawai’i to Spokane, Washington.
We pick a spot on the map and this is where we land…good ole Spokane, Washington. Sometimes fondly referred to as “Spokompton” (google Compton).
We live out of a hotel for 11 days while we pick our next rental.
At nearly 14 Dad, Justin, and I move into a two story house to start over.
Snow is an exciting change and so is autumn.
Reverse culture shock sinks in: now a majority by race, but a minority in mentality.
Lack of control, poor self image, and my frequent stomach pain manifests itself into bulimia.
Dad puts me in Honors classes for the first time; this is a pivotal moment when I go from being bored and distracted in class to being interested.
For the first time in my life, sports are free and I can play!
I join basketball, volleyball, track, and cheerleading.
Become friends with the only group of girls whose home life I can relate to.
My one best friend is Heaven– she teaches me to be confident, to love myself, and to take care of myself, we hang out every day, and even call each other before school to make sure we match- everyone compares us in looks, in sports, yada yada.
Mom comes back in to my life intermittently.
All the while, I believe in God, but don’t know much about the Bible and am missing the fellowship and accountability aspects.
Heaven and I are held at knife point one night.
High school starts.
Drinking, smoking, house parties.
Dating some unruly characters.
Arrested at 15.
Best friend makes a sad life decision I don’t agree with, we start to drift apart.
Start dating a senior at school, a skateboarder/snowboarder named Brian.
Dog dies.
Coming home from a camping trip in Idaho when our car rolls 3x’s off side of mountain. All four of us survive, only concussion, temporary memory loss, and I still have trouble word finding.
Warrant out for arrest in Idaho due to walking away from car crash.
Brian cheats on me with best friend.
Brian moves in at 16.
Start college at Eastern Washington University at 16.
Arrested again at 17.
Dog dies again.
Start realizing that I should pay attention to when assignments are due, when my adviser advises me that you can get academic suspension and won’t receive grants if your grades are poor.
Become Varsity soccer captain.
Take 6 buses a day, 4 to get to and from college, 2 to get to and from soccer practice after.
Start working multiple jobs.
Take leadership and conflict resolution classes in my major that help me get over my fear of heights and need for control.
Move out to college town with Brian.
I still have the pattern of moving a lot and switching my set of jobs when I get to the new city.
Live together for 4 years. Codependent relationship, enabling that person’s addictions.
Become VP of Recreation Management Student Advisory Board.
Mom snaps and chokes me in a Sacramento motel hallway on a road trip gone awry which begins 3 years of no contact.
I see a sign for free counseling at my University and thus begins my first time sharing my testimony and getting some much needed insight.
Get through college working up to 4 jobs at a time and taking 6 classes.
Graduate cum laude age 20 with a Bachelor’s Degree in Recreation Management w/Minors in Aquatics Management and Challenge Course Management & Leadership.
College intern in North Carolina for a summer.
Brian and I break up.
Trip around America for a month.
Completely free for the first time in my life. Not codependent with my father, not codependent with Brian. I find a sense of peace.
Finally realize I have to be true to myself and to God. People pleasing and following can account for most of the damage done.
Live with Justin for a year in Pullman, Washington to save up to move home to Hawai’i.
Move back to Honolulu, Hawai’i at 21.
Find exactly what I was looking for: closer to God.
Experience real fellowship for the first time- SurfSkateSurrender, Christ Centered Community Church, and Imagine Church.
Find a good, stable life here and I stay close to my family on the mainland; especially my dad.
Become a residential realtor.
My compassion for my mother finally outweighs my anger and I reach out to her.
I fly to Arizona and spend my first Christmas with her at 22, in a trailer park in the middle of nowhere desert eating Jack in the Box. Nevertheless, we bond and have some good long talks. We talk about once a month now.
God spends a year slowly chipping away at the idea of me going on a mission trip and I rebut and think that’s not for me.
One day I feel it stronger than ever and finally give in to God’s calling and apply for a mission trip..The World Race.
I leave my worldly career in real estate in preparation for The World Race.
Which takes me to the present date.
I am blessed to be a caregiver for the most spunky, independent, wise, and overall awesome 98 year old I’ve ever met while I organize the next year of my life (prep gear, shots, meds, plane tickets, passport, dr appts, etc) and fundraise (events, support letters, speaking at churches, selling handmade goods, etc- only $12,923 to go!!)
The growth I’ve experienced by living this unconstrained life open to vulnerability and change has worked in my favor.
This is a comeback story for 5 reasons:
1. This pattern of no supervision and having direct consequences for my actions taught me that life is too short to learn everything the hard way. I had to start learning from others’ mistakes.
2. God has taught me a lot about forgiveness, setting boundaries, and learning to trust people again.
3. I’m now learning that you can’t go through life being numb every time something bad happens, you have to let yourself feel it and let it shape you.
4. God has given me the blessing of working with infants, children, teens, geriatrics, and people with disabilities in recreation, in real estate, in leadership, in retail, and in the tourism industry. All have taught me how to read people and adapt, which will better prepare me for working with diverse populations in the 11 months I’m gone.
5. I now cope with life’s stresses through my passions: music, beaching, surfing, hiking, reading, writing, painting, or talking to my dad.
The funny thing about all this is,
It wasn’t one event that changed my life for the better.
God was with me the entire time…
He was the reason we didn’t get stabbed.
It was Him that kept us from dying in that car at 16. God spared us for a reason.
He was the reason my arrests awoke me to my lifestyle, but didn’t damage my future.
He was the reason I got to start college at 16, for free!
It was He who made me a more well rounded person 21 houses, 20 jobs, 9 schools, and 5 sports later.
He brought me back to O’ahu; the most spiritual place I know.
He is the one who proved love can be unconditional.
He gave me this passion for helping hurt people and led me to the World Race.
Lastly, HE will keep me safe on this trip and show me the best way to help others.
