It seems to be the plaque of our generation, focus, hyper-focus specifically. We lead a life of phases. Placed in time frames, whether its high school, college, life before marriage, life after, time without children, children, retirement, the list goes on and on. Each individual finds themselves with their own phases. The progression of our lives create new spaces of our heart to fill; some parts may be filled with love from others, knowledge from experience, joy from simplicity, all the while there is hurt from broken trust, even grief from loss. We compartmentalize our lives into boxes, Every experience, in time, has it’s designated place.
As time passes, we begin to rearrange to make more space, for yet again more experiences; our boxes begin to have trouble closing, we may stand or even sit on their lids just to simply get them to shut. The piles inside grow larger and thicker by the moment. All of the sudden, you are opening new boxes just for overflow storage….before you know it, its time to revaluate all your things. Some of these relationships, challenges, and experiences you will choose to keep with you, while other things you will choose to let go of. Nevertheless, the boxes begin to stack vertically, piling one on top of the other; separated only by the thin layers. However, these compartments create boundaries that resist the blend of our sectioned lives. Interaction of past and present experience ceases to exist. As the overwhelming amount of singular moments pile up, we begin to forget or even devalue the experiences of so long ago.
I’ve lived my life susceptible to packing things away, limiting the applicability of my personal experiences for the upcoming, unknown “boxes”. However, as I have begun my own personal race to Christ’s abundant life, my eyes have been opened to the divine intercessions he has made. Whether it has been the provision of opportunities or the guidance received, God has been preparing my heart for the moment when all of these experiences blend together to overwhelm me with a conviction to live a life deeply rooted in passionately following his will.
In 18 years of life, I’ve developed a passion for love- to experience it, to show it, to live of it. I’d like to say that if I played a sport, my sport would be love. As an athlete of love, I’ve had a lot of hard practices when things weren’t so easy; the situations weren’t the ideal; never have I had the picture perfect #goals friendships or even relationships, but they’ve prepared my heart for a game of love that may not be conventional or convenient, at that. I’ve been prepared to freely give a love that scoffs at risk, because love is all that matters. So yes, that means loving the nations, the orphans, the poor, the imprisoned, but to love with risk is to continue to love those I leave behind, to relentlessly chase their love, to choose to be love to them, to simply take on more love- and what a beautiful challenge I will accept.
My prayer is that one day when you find all of my “boxes”, you find nothing but loose papers piled high and disorganized, mingling with loves of the past, present, and even paving the way to future loves. May I be continuously gracious for the gift of love. May the love I pour out enable someone to love in the future. Inversely, may the love that I have come to know prepare me to love those in this moment.
So let us be eager to leave the loves that are familiar, to discover more of what is true.
