The sun is shining and it is finally beginning to rain. Though the rainy season was supposed to start before we came, it has been a slow transition this year. I am really grateful for the rain falling now because the rain barrels are empty and I need a shower. In between working at the well in Ethiopia, taking bucket showers here and lugging Gerry cans full of water in both countries, I have grown a much deeper appreciation for water. It is a gift that is easily overlooked and wasted. I don’t say this as a statement of condemnation, but rather one of celebration. How beautiful is it that God has given us water! It cleans, hydrates, transports, powers and grows so many things.
As I type, Pastor Moses (our ministry host) and three of my teammates are up at the school that he established, preparing the walls for painting. It is going to be jungle themed, covered in vines, flowers, butterflies and monkeys. The kids are pre-k and kindergarten and I know that they are going to be so excited watching the process of the painting take place and then celebrating when it is finished. We spend the mornings teaching the kiddos, alternating between PE, Art and English. My teammate Vic and I are with the kindergarten class and the other day we practiced introducing ourselves and saying how old we are. I learned that a lot of the kids don’t know their age because they don’t know their birthday and also that there were some seven year olds in the class going to school for the first time.
I am not with my team right now, because I have been sick these past couple days. I have been pretty sick once so far on the race, but this was one of those times where I felt kind of defeated. I spent the night on the couch with a bucket nearby wondering what it would be like to be sent home now. It bothered me that that was what I wanted, that I wanted to go home and throw up in a “normal” bathroom and have access to Gatorade and my family. It bothered me because I knew that is what the enemy wanted. He wanted a little virus to be the thing that made me throw my hands up and say, “That’s it! I’m finished!” With only two months left, it is easy to find myself caught up in being excited about going home and when I am sick this only increases, but I don’t want my excitement for home to be fueled by a spirit of defeat on the field.
The night I got sick, we went to a church service and I gave a teaching on reconciliation. Most of the time when I step into these situations, I am all about impromptu/flying by the seat of my pants, but this day was different. I spent the morning wondering what I was supposed to preach about. I felt like I wasn’t hearing from the Holy Spirit and I was growing frustrated. After lunch, I just decided to give a practical message on discipleship because it is something I am passionate about and have experience with. As I spent the next couple hours diligently writing out notes and being humbled by how much I still had to learn about discipleship (I have come to realize it is kind of a lifetime discipline) I also learned that preparing well for a teaching is a sign of love for the people that I am going to be speaking to. Along with this, I realized that preparing for preaching shows me how little I know and I how much God knows. It creates a healthy weight on me that I have been given a platform to speak to the people of God whom He dearly loves and that I need to carry that weight with respect.
While taking a couple hours to plan out what I was going to say taught me all these really valuable things, every fifteen minutes I would stop writing, filled with an unsettled feeling that God had something else that He wanted me to speak on. I asked the Holy Spirit and I kept getting the word “reconciliation” and then felt like I was supposed to look at Ephesians Chapter 2. I felt confirmation that I was hearing from the Holy Spirit when I saw that the second half of the chapter was titled, “Jew and Gentile Reconciled Through Christ”. Over and over again, I would go back to the notes I was writing wondering if what I was hearing was correct. Isn’t it funny how I questioned what the Holy Spirit was saying to me thinking that I knew better?! That afternoon, I realized that this was one of those moments where I could obey the Holy Spirit and trust Him to show me what he wanted me to say or I could depend on myself and what I thought I knew. I chose to listen to the Holy Spirit and I am so grateful for that decision. It was really sweet to depend on the Lord that evening and afterwards the pastor shared with me that what I had shared was relevant for the congregation right now.
Over the past year or two, I have had some really hard moments where I don’t feel like I am hearing from the Holy Spirit, but the other day the way He spoke to me was so straightforward: through a single word and a Bible passage. I love how He guides me even when I struggle with doubting His voice. God provides!
Life Updates:
It was exciting…taking Bota rides to the church each night (a bota is a motorcycle)
I have really enjoyed…getting the privilege to speak to a couple different congregations. It has definitely been a learning curve and I am learning how to speak for longer than twenty minutes.
I miss…spending the evening with my family/friends.
