One of my very favorite classes I took in college was Sociology. I loved studying different aspects of human behaviors, societies and cultures, especially our American culture. My class was taught by a woman who wore modern, stylish clothes and had hip length gray hair. She was a self-proclaimed liberal, a strong, independent single mother, and was obviously very much a feminist. I hung on her every word as she turned my view of our society upside-down, challenging gender stereotypes and teaching me of the many injustices women in America face today.
I remember struggling with keeping a healthy, Biblical worldview while taking this class. Suddenly, men were the enemy. Power to women! If my little girl wants to play with Hot Wheels instead of Barbies then fine! Break the stereotypes! Equality for all! I had to slow down and re-evaluate my thought process, remembering that yes, God made us equal, but men were not the enemy, and He gave them the special job of being servant leaders in the family unit.
This month, that struggle has resurfaced. Ukraine’s culture, like many cultures I’ve experienced in the last year, is very patriarchal. But for some reason, this month is the first month it’s really bothered me. It bothers me that our house mom cooks our meals and washes the dishes after but doesn’t get to eat it at the table with us. It bothers me that when men enter the room they shake every single man’s hand but skip over the women. It bothers me that our boys get invited to do certain activities but we don’t just because we’re women. Maybe it’s because European culture is so much closer to American culture than Asia, so I feel the weight of this difference more. After all, I’ve been to India, where women can’t look men in the eye and have to walk five steps behind them and it didn’t bother me this much.
My team began to pick up on my annoyance with not being treated equally, and soon the boys in our host family knew about it. They thought it was funny that I challenged their traditions and asked them why they did these things, and soon it became a running joke to treat me the same as the men. They started making sure they shook my hand whenever they saw me and the girls of our team were even invited to play airsoft with the guys (which, by the way, we were awesome at!)
After my “victory” of holding my own in airsoft, I once again began to slow down and ask myself why I was so concerned about being treated equal. This is THEIR culture, not mine, why was I forcing them to treat me a certain way? Why did I feel the need to arrogantly demand their respect? Was I that reliant on the opinions of others? I know I have value, I know I deserve to be treated with respect, but this demand for constant equality was getting in the way of me showing Jesus to these people. I’m called to serve humbly, not puff myself up and force others to acknowledge what a strong, independent woman I am. 1 Peter 3:3&4 says, “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” Ouch. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment. Outward “adornments”, like having others treat you a certain way, view you a certain way. Your beauty should come from within, a quiet and gentle spirit. The spirit behind my need to be recognized was anything but quiet or gentle. It was vicious and judgmental.
I still think women should be treated with respect, and I’m in no way saying they should be treated badly or as lesser citizens, but we are brides of Christ. He has called us to Himself and made us worthy of love and grace, do we really need any more confirmation of our worth than that? Don’t let entitlement get in the way of letting Jesus control your life. We’re called to live as Jesus did, and he lived humbly as a servant, even though He was the Creator and King.
Micah 6:8 “What does the Lord require of you? To seek justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God. “
