I’m Not Pregnant… AM I?

I need all my ladies to give me a big shout out, because I KNOW you guys have probably had one of these dreams. THE PREGNANT DREAM. 

Here it is…

 I go to sleep two nights ago and dream that I found out I was one month along, pregnant. At this point, I’m on the Race, month 4. Some how, some way, one month ago a little baby seed was planted within me that is now a human life. I remember thinking, “Oh geeze… I’M NOT MARRIED! But… how amazing this will be! To have a baby that is a little of me, and little of him… in 8 months I’ll be able to hug the BEST PART of myself!”.  Then, I think of how I’m going to tell my parents… how they will resist and think differently of me but, even more, how they’ll be overjoyed at the fact that this kid will be a piece of them as well! After all these things surfaced in the wake of the big news… I then considered how I could possibly carry my pack AND a huge baby belly while traveling to each new country!!! HA! I still have 8 months left of this journey! SUCH A CRAZY DREAM!

I don’t dream this vividly very often. In fact, when I do, it’s usually time to pay attention. I woke up pretty weirded out. I wondered if my maternal clock was ticking… HA! Not while on THIS trip! Nothing really made sense until I took a 10 hour train ride from Bucharest to Tigaru Maresh to visit team MOR3 and team HAVEN.  God chose to reveal some pretty LEGIT things while waiting on our arrival.

In real life, about a month ago, God revealed some AMAZING things via some really great prophetically activated people. I had been struggling with a few truths in my life, with giftings and how to use them, with loving myself and others. All this was going down when a crumbled under God’s amazing love. In that moment, the Lord spoke 3 very important words to me: 

1) Your confidence is not a facade. It is deep and noticed. It is needed by those around you.

2) You will speak into your generation and be a voice for your people. They will follow you as you go, whether you choose to lead or not. So  choose lead under my authority.

3) Love activates the beauty placed inside. Love me, love your people, and let me love you.

I believe this was God planting a seed within me, like the baby planted inside a woman’s womb. As I lived these words out over the last month of ministry in Ireland, God began to strengthen His calling. It came to fruition as I prayed about stepping into the new position of Squad Leader. It seemed as if this was the pregnancy test. I tried and tested my God, asking Him what His will was… what His vision was… It was “yes”. So here I am, in this place of new leadership, stepping into an amazing walk… much like a woman does when she becomes pregnant. New things surface, and just as her baby grows, so does she into a mother. A woman fit to steward what is growing inside of her. God spoke to me that for 8 months, He is growing something inside of me. As I take care of it, I will continue to grow into the woman He desires for this project! It will be the best part of Him, living and growing, and come June 2011… it will no longer be mine to foster in growth. It will be born and ready to run free to the nations!!!

NOW…. I have NO idea what the baby represents. Could it be P-Squad? Could it be the leadership I’m learning? Could it be a new found love for discipleship? 

I’m not sure that question matters so much. A mother’s love is NOT conditional on what the baby is like! Her main concern is love and nourishment so it will grow with that as its root. 

AMEN???

This is my heart for my squad. May my life be a true reflection of worship, love, and pursuit of God so that WHATEVER is inside of me will follow suit. 

PRAISE GOD FOR AMAZING DREAMS! Even the ones that weird us out….