So we put up a fence today, and by we I mean I wasn’t allowed to help.
We had a day of working around the house, ChaCha filed paperwork; Ryan looked after the younger boys; and Micah, Eric, Anna, and I were tasked with installing a fence by their new road (aka driveway). For Anna and I this meant standing by and watching the men do “man’s work.”
For those of you who know me you can probably see me twitching with frustration at the idea that I can’t do something because its “man’s work.” For those of you who don’t know me, I am definitly twitching.
I was raised to be a strong person. Strong faith. Strong work ethic. Strong emotionally. Strong physically. I pride myself on my strength sometimes to a fault (but we will get to that in a minute.)
But back to the story… When I asked what I could do to help, I was told by Jenale (one of the boys who lives here at Khayalethu) that this was dirty work meaning man’s work therefore women werent allowed to help.
The twitch began.
Then I had to stop myself.
I had to realize that this 14 year old boy was not trying to be disrespectful at all. He was not trying to tell me that I am less then the men or that I wasn’t physically able to do the work. On the contrary all I felt from this boy was respect. He respected me enough to step in to do the work so that I wouldn’t have to get dirty.
Standing by and watching the men install the fence was a shot to my pride, but in an amazing way. It showed me that I don’t have to be digging a hole to help. I can be standing , holding a mallet, taking pictures, playing music, and still be helping. I don’t need to prove that I can do the work, because here, proving that I can is also disrespectful to their culture.
