F:Fear O:Of M:Missing O:Out
I am extremely excited about my trip ( I think I have mentioned that in every blog.) I just have a few reservations. Things that I need to be in prayer about more. I am a HUGE over thinker. I think about things way to much. I am so scared that going I will come back and everything will have changed. In all reality everything will change.
I have the fear of missing out on family, my brother will get leave to visit home before he deploys to Japan and I will already be gone.. I have the fear of missing out on my Friends, my best friend just had a baby and I have gotten extremely close to the little guy, I am going to miss out on his whole first year and by the time I come back he will not even remember me.( As well as her little girl) I am going to miss Kasey and our crazy dancing in the kitchen, Someone to listen to me vent, as well as being her counselor/nanny. I will miss my Maxy Boy (My American Bulldog) who waits by the door until each one of his family members is home.( What if he waits there for 9 months??) I will miss the holidays spent with my Parents. I will miss the friendships I have made this year. I seriously will miss getting ready everyday.
We as people live within our comfort zone, never wanting to step out of it. We fear what is to come, we fear the negative, we fear the bad, and most of all we fear the unknown. We are negative human beings, and we let our negative side come out more than our positive side. I think about all things that could go wrong instead of giving those things to God, and him helping all of those things go right.
I am ready for God to teach me how to be uncomfortable. I am ready for God to move in my life when things start to feel just right. I am ready for God to show me some of the greatest things I will ever experience in my life. I can sit here and ponder all of the things I am going to miss out on or I can think about all of the things I will accomplish/Experience.
I can look at the positive in all of these things. I can hope that maybe Josh will be able to come and see me for a few days before I leave. How Kasey can Snapchat me and send me pictures of Blaine, and Payton, and we can have dance sessions, as well as venting ones. Mom can send me pictures of Max, he will eventually realize that I am not coming home for a while But I can talk to him on Facetime as well. I will Get to spend my Holidays in some of the coolest ways like Christmas in Malaysia with my new family. I can still maintain those friendship 7,000 miles away. I will also make new friendships, as well as family. Finally the getting ready everyday part, God will help me to see that natural beauty is okay, and that sometimes we do not need things to cover up who we are.
I am ready to be uncomfortably comfortable with the Lord’s Plan for my life. And again. I CANNOT WAIT! 16 days till training camp.
