“you only have __ days left, are you getting excited?!”
this is a question I am asked multiple times in a day and in my heart of hearts, I am very excited. I am about to embark on something that, up until earlier this year, I only dreamed about doing. I have been chosen to travel the world and love like Jesus to everyone I come in contact with. who wouldn’t want to do the world race?
but right now, I’m anything but that.
I am doubtful.
I’m questioning everything I’ve ever known about myself and wondering why I am doing this race.
god has given me sign after sign that he has called me to this yet I look at myself and think ‘why on earth does he think I’m anywhere near good enough to do the world race’ and he just comes right back at me saying “you are my child, how are you NOT good enough for this?” I may not be the “perfect Christian” but I believe that god doesn’t call the qualified, he qualifies the called.
it blows my mind how unconditional his love is for me. even though I fail him daily he still wants to use me to reach others hearts. he sees something in me that’s worth investing in. and he will continue to prepare my heart so that I can live out his calling.
I can tell you it is SO easy to let the fear of the unknown destroy what god is doing in my life but I’m not letting that happen. while I am doubtful of my abilities to do the world race, I am more peaceful than ever.
peaceful because I know god called me to do this. he has displayed it in so many areas of my life. when I wasn’t sure if I was going to meet the deadline that would decide if I was going to launch in January, he blew me away by putting $2,400 in my account. in 5 days. he has sent people to tell me that I am right where he has called me to be. his plan is far greater than anything I could imagine and all his reassuring has given me no choice but to rest in his peace.
so while I might not be jumping for joy at the thought of leaving my friends, family and comfy bed for the next 11 months, please know that I am excited.
I am excited to see how god wrecks my heart.
to see how he comes to life in those we will be serving.
to see his never-ending love displayed to all people.
and to see him glorified throughout all the nations.
XX
