October 8th, 2015
“I find myself staring and reeling at the pages of this book. This is where I started my deep dive with the Lord nearly 9 years ago. I am having so many feelings all at once. It’s tripping me out.” – My journal
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ORDER PLACED
July 22, 2007
TOTAL
$9.74
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On July 22, 2007 I spent $9.74 on a book on Amazon that would change the trajectory of the my life.
That book was The Art of Listening Prayer written by Seth Barnes. I bought this book after I thought I had heard the Lord speak to me. Did the Lord speak to us? I wasn’t sure, so I started a journey to find out because if the Lord was speaking I wanted to hear him.
When I finished reading the book, the authors “About me” led me to a website www.advetures.org. A website I would spend my next 4 years frequenting; looking up possible missions trips and reading blogs written by those brave enough to go until that day that the Lord said, “Are you going to take that leap of faith?” And my response was, “Yes!”
The day I said “Yes,” I wasn’t just saying “Yes” to the 11-month missions trip I thought I was. I was saying “Yes” to so much more. I was saying “Yes Lord, I will learn what it means to be your friend,” “Yes Lord, I will share secrets and memories with you,” “Yes Lord, I will dance in the middle of the dance floor with you,” “Yes Lord, I am your child,” and “Yes Lord, I will lay down the plans I have made for myself in exchange for the ones you have for me.”
At the end of September (2015) I said, “Yes” to the Lord again and this time it was “Yes Lord, I trust you.”
(A lil background)
I have had a desire to squad lead for the World Race since I was still on the field in 2013. I wasn’t sure if it was something that would ever actually happen. When I came off the field in 2013 I was really unsure about what was next for me. I was in a season where the Lord was stripping me of all the places where I found my value other then him and in a place where my insecurities prevented me from applying to squad lead.
I tried to grieve squad leading, I asked the Lord to take the desire away from me, but still it was there. It was still there in June when my friend Hannah shared about her time squad leading. As she talked something lit inside of me, something that I would not be able to shove down, something that I wouldn’t not be able to quench without responding to the stirring inside of me. It was then that I realized the Lord was saying, “The desire for squad leading is there because it’s for you.”
(Fast forward)
On that day in October I was reading, The Art of Listening Prayer as I was preparing for training camp for the second time, but this time I was going as a squad leader.
So you can imagine all the emotions hitting me at once as I realized that this has been nearly 9 years in the making for me and that Lord has greater plans intertwined for my life then I even realized. To think it all started with buying a book on Amazon.
